Humor

“Just because you needed to lose weight, why are you taking it out on us? What did we do?” another son repined. They continued their assault by reminding me that this was Thursday, and Thursday used to be hot dog night . . .

Now that I’ve released my angst, and shared the trauma of countless hours pressing down on toes and humbly praying for help in choosing shoes that fit and last and that can be found tomorrow morning while the carpool is waiting in the driveway and beeping...

Who in their right mind would opt for the toddler upgrade? I wonder aloud. To which the travel agent smugly replies: Do you have a child under the age of two and a half? I answer affirmatively. Then (aha!) you already have opted for the Toddler Upgrade . ...

Being as I don’t want to be assigned to the loony bin, my shout is carefully manufactured—existing in dimensions no greater than two feet long and two feet wide. The Carefully Manufactured Shout is tied with twine—and, by most metaphysical classifications...

Having a real life in my hands only generated more loss of life in my head. Sure, I was smart enough to feed, bathe and care for my child. I kept a very organized diaper bag and was on my toes with everything baby-related. But when it came to life in gene...

I had been looking forward to lolling around during the waning days of summer, eating runny sugar-free ice cream while my kids savored the premium scoops. But I was forced into aerobic action: running around like a woman possessed, surrendering my credit ...

In most ways I'm a classic Jewish mother. If I'm cold, I tell my kids to put on sweaters. But I depart from the stereotypes in one significant way: I really am not interested in hearing from my kids every day when they are away at camp...

While other Jewish mothers may kvetch when their grown children don't keep in touch or share more of their lives, I peek into my daughters' pursuits whenever I please...

At a certain point, I will run out of food. And then we, along with about 4,000 of our neighbors, start hitting the kosher pizza joints...