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Marriage Questions and Answers

Why get married? Do I have a soulmate? Can a convert be my soulmate? Why is a glass broken beneath the chupah? A selection of fascinating FAQs on the subjects of dating, weddings and marriage.

Explain My Wife to Me
She complained last night that I’m not helpful around the house. She claims that yesterday I came home and plonked myself on the couch to relax, leaving her to look after the kids and dinner and everything else. When I pointed out to her that I actually offered to help, she says it wasn’t sincere. I’m at a loss. What more can I do? Is it my fault if she ignores my offer to help?
Why Are Jewish Weddings Under a Chupah Canopy?
Everyone knows that Jewish weddings take place under a chupah under the open skies. But no one I ask seems to know why. Is there a reason for this?
Why Get Married?
Is marriage worth the sacrifice?
Marriage has been getting a bad rap lately, and it’s entirely unjustified. Decades of studies on human wellbeing provide the same conclusions consistently . . .
Can a Rabbi Get Married?
The taxi driver shook his head and said, “You Jews have got it good. In my community, when someone is dating and confused, or is going through a rough patch in his marriage, who should we turn to?”
You're Madly in Love
In two months she's getting married. What should I do? I am still convinced that she is the only one in the world for me
Are Matchmakers Honest?
The truth behind matchmaking
"I get the part about G-d creating heaven and earth," says the Roman matron. "But once He got that down, what has He been doing since?" "Since then," the sage replies, "He's been matchmaking..."
Do I Have a Soulmate?
Is there any guarantee that each person will meet his or her soul mate and will find someone who truly loves them? Time and again I have had my heart broken and my hopes dashed...Is there really someone out there for everyone?
Love and a Model Airplane
My friends say the main thing is that you are in love, and everything else will fall into place. Should I believe them?
Is he the right guy for me?
I am in a serious relationship with a great guy. We have been together for a while now and I have very strong feelings for him. He is ready to get married, and is getting a bit impatient with me.
The Secret of a Good Matchmaker
I've tried my hand at matchmaking, but so far I've been a dismal failure. Is there a secret formula for bringing people together that I don't know about?
Can a convert be my soul-mate?
My girlfriend isn't Jewish, but she is in the process of converting. In your Kabbalah class you said that everyone has a soul-mate, the missing part of our soul. Could she be my soul-mate?
Bored with Mr. Nice Guy
I want to find someone that I can spend my life with, but I seem to end up with guys that treat me like dirt. Then, finally, I met a guy who treated me like a queen but I just wasn’t attracted to him...
Why Are All the Good Husbands Already Taken?
My friends' spouses are all such wonderful people, but the guys I meet all seem to be missing something. What am I doing wrong?
Is He Too Immature to Get Married?
I cannot wait to get married I feel I have found that person. We share a lot in common, have similar values and goals, and are both committed to learning and growing. The problem is that he is extremely immature…
Parents Don't Approve
I have been dating a wonderful guy for a few months now and we are getting quite serious. Yet there is one huge problem. My parents are completely against the relationship...
Lack of Attraction
I recently began seeing a man who really appears to have the qualities that I want in a husband. The problem is that I am really not very attracted to him...
Sudden Mood Swings
The man I am thinking of marrying can be very sweet and kind. But just when we are getting along well, he suddenly changes...
Conversion and Marriage
I am in the process of an Orthodox conversion to marry the man I love. I am now living a wonderful observant life, but my fiancé is not interested in living in such a way . . .
Arranged Marriages?
Is it true that traditionally, Jewish marriages were arranged marriages? I’ve also heard that this is still the practice amongst the more religious Jews . . .
What Is a
Anyone can be a shadchan. Just make the suggestion. Even if it does not work the first time, keep on trying.
Where Is the Woman of My Dreams?
I know what you are going to say: I am too fussy. But I can’t just settle on something half good. Where is the woman of my dreams?
Why Is Torah Law So Restrictive of Contact Between the Genders?
Should any physical contact that is friendly be considered intimate? Hopefully, it should.
The Ethics of Double Dating
I am happy in my relationship, and things are getting quite serious. But there is one nagging doubt at the back of my mind. I have nothing to compare her to, because I have never been in this type of relationship before. I feel that perhaps, before I commit, I should see some other girls . . .
Broken-Hearted
I am recently out of a relationship with a man that I had set my heart on marrying. We had been together for a while and he just couldn’t come to a decision whether or not to marry me...
Will I Be the Next Runaway Bride?
I'm getting married in a couple of months, but I'm riddled with doubts: Have I made the right decision? How can I know for sure? Some nights I just lie awake wondering...
Jewish Bachelor Party?
My fiancée is uncomfortable with it, and I'm not so excited about it myself. But everyone does it so I feel silly refusing. Is there a Jewish approach to bachelor parties?
Pop the Question
Why does the bride walk in a circle around the groom? Why do we specifically use a ring in the ceremony? Read the answers to some interesting wedding related questions.
Why Does a Jewish Bride Wear a Veil on Her Face?
The Mishnah (completed in the second century) records the custom of some Jewish brides to wear a veil.
Why Is Jewish Marriage So One-Sided?
I understand that the traditional Jewish ketubah (marriage contract) is all about the husband’s obligations to his wife, but there’s nothing in there about the wife’s obligations. Is that fair?
Why Break a Glass at a Wedding?
This destruction of the Temple was a significant event in Jewish history, but it doesn’t seem to have any personal relevance to me. What does a destroyed building have to do with my wedding?
Public Displays of Affection?
I was just at a friend’s wedding who I haven’t seen since college and who has become Orthodox. At the wedding, they never held hands and didn’t even kiss at the end of the ceremony. Is this how a couple that is supposedly in love acts?
Unwanted Anniversary Gift
My husband bought me a necklace for our 1st anniversary, and while I appreciate the gift very much, I don’t really like the necklace...
Mother-in-law Problems
My mother in law is constantly criticizing me and my ability to parent. No matter what I do she makes a comment, and often in front of other people...
Quality Time
My husband also loves the kids, but he feels that since we had them, we no longer do anything as a couple, only as a family. I agree but have no problem with this. He wants to go away for a few nights without the kids but I feel like I just couldn't leave them.
Fallen Out of Love
I am married to a good and kind man, though I simply no longer feel the kind of love I should feel toward him. Is there anything you can do when you have fallen out of love?
Straying Thoughts
I am happily married to a wonderful man, but for some reason I find myself sometimes thinking about other men, and people I dated before meeting my husband. I know I will never act out any of these thoughts, but I still feel terribly guilty...
Husband Won't Say
While I know that my husband loves me, I still feel the need to hear it and it hurts me that he can’t say it, even when it is so important to me. Am I making a big deal out of nothing?
No Respect Left
I feel very little love left for my husband, if at all, and not too much respect. He is so terrified to fail that he cannot bring himself to try most things that people attempt to do in life. I only stay because of my children...
Husband's Ex-Girlfriend
An old girlfriend of my husband calls him on the phone and keep on calling him "sweetheart" and I find it offensive. Am I wrong? Am I over reacting and should I just be quiet?
Presentless
My husband had asked me a few weeks before my birthday what I wanted. Not really needing anything in particular, I smiled and said "nothing" telling him that being married to him was all I wanted. I was trying to be sweet...
Can't You Take a Joke?
My wife has no sense of humor. She says I make fun of her in public, and gets all upset and insulted. Shouldn't she be able to take a joke?
My Wife's 78 Outfits
“But I have nothing to wear,” she says . . . and she has 78 outfits hanging in the wardrobe right in front of her!
I'm Falling in Love with a Married Man
I am having a problem with a friend of mine. There seems to be an attraction between us that I don't want there. I love my fiancé and don't want to be distracted or hurt our relationship.
There's More to Love than Giving
As long as you are always giving without asking for anything in return, you have not allowed any space for her in your life
What Is a
Despite the social challenges that a mamzer faces, he is recognized as a full member of the Jewish nation and able to achieve spiritual greatness.
Why Can't a Convert Marry a Kohen?
If I am a fully fledged Jew like any other, why am I not good enough to marry into the priestly tribe?
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