By the Grace of G‑d,

2 Shevat, 5719


Blessings and Greetings!

In response to your letter, raising the following points:

1) The relationship between your parents, may they live and be well.

In such matters, first, it is understood that your mother should not be drawn into beginning an argument, even about such matters which in her opinion your father isn't at all correct. When he will see that she doesn't want to argue and fight, his desire to argue will also weaken and decrease over time. It's also necessary to ask their close friends who are local, to influence your father to improve his relationship, and it's understood that your father shouldn't know that your mother asked them to do this.

Since for everything, one needs help and blessing from above, it would be proper for your mother to set aside, every weekday in the morning, some coins for Tzedaka, this in addition to what she certainly follows according to the custom of Jewish women, to set aside Tzedaka before candle lighting every Erev Shabbos and Erev Yom Tov.

It is understood that all the above is in addition to the suggestion that the sons and daughters, through conducting themselves with respect and pleasantness, will influence their parents to improve the relationship between them.

2) Regarding your trait of moodiness and anger.

You should ask your teachers to explain to you, at length, the idea of Hashgacha Pratis, which is one of the foundations of our faith. Its general meaning is that the One who created and runs the world watches with specific attention over every detail of your life, i.e., at every moment you are found under the Creator's watch, Who is looking at all your actions, and when you contemplate this idea multiple times until it becomes engraved in your memory, it will certainly affect you, to weaken your moodiness and anger, etc.

You should also fulfill the commandment according to the code of Jewish law, that somebody who you've insulted, even out of anger, you must ask him for complete forgiveness. Now since asking forgiveness is hard for a person, and you will nevertheless overcome this difficulty and ask forgiveness, every time that you are about to become agitated, you will certainly remember, that afterwards you will have to work on yourself to ask for forgiveness. This will also help you to weaken the trait of moodiness, etc.

To have the addition of G‑d's blessing for this, you should influence your friends in the area of Ahavas Yisroel and bringing one friend closer to the other, and then with G‑d's way which is to repay 'measure for measure,' many times over, the one who puts forth effort is helped additionally from Above.

With blessing for good news in all that was mentioned.

On behalf of the Rebbe,


(Igros Kodesh, Vol. 18, p. 169)