This letter was to a couple — whose names were not released — who had consulted the Rebbe about their engagement.

B”H, 7 Kislev, 5711
Brooklyn

Greetings and blessings,

The chassidic Rabbi and communal leader, ..., related to me [the contents] of your letter to him regarding your request for [my] consent and blessing on your engagement, and also regarding what you write concerning the manner in which to establish your lives in the future with G‑d’s help.

Regarding people in general, and Jews in particular, when [a couple] become engaged, they ask G‑d for the success [of their union]. When one asks from the depths of the heart, G‑d will grant success and [the marriage] will be a sturdy and everlasting structure.

Every word and expression that our Sages use is exact. Similarly, [their description of a marriage as] a structure1 is fitting in all its particulars.

When building a structure, one of the fundamental conditions for it to be strong is to be certain that the foundation on which the building stands is strong.

The primary difference between the foundation and the entire building is that with the entire building, an emphasis is placed not only on the internal structural strength, but also on the external appearance. Regarding the foundation, by contrast, the external appearance is not significant. What is of primary importance is that the foundation will be strong and firm and built from the best materials.

Similarly, with regard to an engagement between Jewish young people, what’s important is that the material of the foundation should be appropriate for the demands of a Jewish home and it should be strong enough to withstand different challenges.

The materials for a Jewish building in general are the Torah and its mitzvos. In addition, in chassidic homes, there is the inner warmth and light that the teachings of Chassidus have infused into the Torah and its mitzvos that have been disseminated by the Nesi’im of Chabad in every generation, and, in particular, in our generation through our Nasi, my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe, הכ"מ.

In actual fact, this means to accept upon ourselves the study of the Torah and the observance of mitzvos on the level of deed in one’s daily life, and in particular, [a commitment to] positive character traits, chassidic character traits, of which the primary element is ahavas Yisrael, as explained in many places in the talks of my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe, הכ"מ. This means [observing] kashrus, Shabbos, and taharas hamishpachah, establishing fixed times for Torah study, [giving] charity, loving [our Jewish] brethren, and the like.

All of these matters should be carried out in the manner Chassidus requires from us.

If you take upon yourselves all these [obligations], I send my blessing that the engagement ... should be in a good and auspicious hour. You should build a house in Israel on the foundation of the Torah and its mitzvos as they are explained in the teachings of Chassidus.

With blessing,