By the Grace of G‑d
28th of Teveth, 5722 [January 4, 1962]
Brooklyn, N.Y.
Blessing and Greeting:
I received your letter of December 28th, in which you write about the proposition of a Shidduch, which, generally, seems to be acceptable, but you seem to be afraid, etc.
Your feeling can he explained on the basis of two factors: a. As you yourself write that hitherto you have had no responsibilities whatever, or, as you put it, you were treated like a baby without being given the opportunity to think for yourself. It is, therefore, clear that now that you have to make an important decision and enter into a life of responsibility and independence, this makes you feel uneasy, although I would not say “very frightened," as you put it. b. A feeling of anxiety in such a case is not unusual, even where the person has not been treated like a baby. For marriage is an important and serious step which affects the rest of one's life, and, as it is stated in the text of the blessing, it is a Binyan Adei-ad, an everlasting edifice. It is, therefore, natural that young people should approach this with a feeling of some anxiety and awe. On the other hand, if the Shidduch is a suitable one, one can go into it with a feeling of absolute confidence, for it is within the very natural order of things, and is also a commandment of the Creator. Hence it is assured of G‑d's blessing. The basic requirement, however, is that the Shidduch be a suitable one, namely, that both parties should be of a similar background and world outlook, and, above all, should be determined in their resolution to mutually build a truly Jewish home on the everlasting foundations of the Torah and Mitzvoth.
As a matter of fact, in your case there is an encouraging factor in that, as you write, you have a position and are, moreover, happy in your job. Thus, in spite of what you think, you already know what responsibilities are to some extent, and this should give you the confidence that you will be able to carry out even greater responsibilities when the time comes.
May G‑d, Whose benevolent Providence extends to each and everyone individually, lead you in the way that is best for you, materially and spiritually.
With blessing,
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