By the Grace of G‑d
26th of Sivan, 5742 [June 17, 1982]
Brooklyn, N,Y.
Blessing and Greeting:
This is to acknowledge receipt of your letter of June 2nd, which reached me with some delay.
It is not my practice to take up questions which should be addressed to any competent Orthodox Rabbi, whose function it is to "Pasken Shaalos." However, I am making an exception in this case, because, although the matter is really quite simple, it is also very important.
To begin with, consider the situation: A Chuppah and sacred marriage is taking place in accordance with Jewish Law, K'das Moshe v'Yisroel. And while it is taking place, there would be present a gentile woman who is not just a spectator or guest, but one who is involved in a situation which, if it should materialize, G‑d forbid, is absolutely contrary to Das Moshe v'Yisroel. And although she may not understand the exact meaning of these words, she probably would understand the general content of this sacred ceremony, or someone would explain it to her, and the incongruity, to say the least, is obvious. In light of this - could her presence at this sacred Jewish religious ceremony afford her respect or honor and give her a sense of real pleasure, knowing how the bride and bridegroom and the family and guests feel about intermarriage?
So much for the common sense viewpoint.
In addition, of course, there is the viewpoint of the Torah and Shulchan Aruch, which clearly holds that, for the good of all concerned, she should not be present there.
Should you wish to discuss the matter further with any Orthodox Rabbi, I am certain that his advice would be the same. But the matter is really so self evident that no further elaboration is needed.
Since it is clear from your writing that your forthcoming wedding will be as it should be, K'das Moshe v'Yisroel, for a Binyan Adei Ad, an everlasting edifice based on the foundations of the eternal Torah and Mitzvoth in the everyday life, may G‑d grant that it take place in a happy and auspicious hour for real happiness both materially and spiritually.
With the blessing of Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
M. Schneerson
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