The providential design of our personal struggles is not only found in external challenges. Indeed, some of our greatest challenges originate from within. Chief among these internal challenges are our entrenched and enduring vices and character flaws—anger, lust, greed, arrogance, and indifference, to name a few. Counterintuitively, our Sages tell us that our inborn vices are also invitations that serve as critical signals pointing us toward our mission in life.
As opposed to a purely pragmatic approach, which would suggest evading the areas of personality you struggle with most, the mystical teachings of Judaism convey that part of our sacred purpose in life is to face, channel, and redeem our natural vices, character flaws, and the difficult or “broken” parts of our personalities.
Based on the belief that “G‑d does not create anything superfluous,”1 time and again, the Rebbe insisted that every part of us can be harnessed in the service of G‑d and humanity. In fact, even the seemingly undesirable aspects of our personalities—including our shadows, not just our sunshine—have potential for elevation. As such, rather than seeing our character flaws as curses to be excised or avoided, we are taught to see them as gifts from G‑d waiting to be “unpacked” and put to good use.
Paradoxically, it is our shadows that represent some of the most powerful instruments in our personal toolkit for bringing our individual light to the world and fulfilling our purpose in life.
In the words of the Rebbe in Hayom Yom: “Every soul has its own [designated] Divine service in the realm of intellect and emotion, each according to its nature and disposition. It is written, Make me wise from my enemies—that is, from the negative leanings that a person senses in his own undeveloped character traits, he can gain wisdom and know how to tackle his tasks of self-refinement, and how to harness his personal strengths to G‑d’s service.”2 3 4
The following stories demonstrate the Rebbe’s persistent application of this principle.
A Chasid once complained to the Rebbe that his righteous behavior was often motivated by concerns about his public image.
“I am often consumed by thoughts of what others will say or think about me,” he said.
The Rebbe replied:
“That’s not a bad way to think—if used as a motivator. Next time you are debating whether to stay and study longer, think to yourself, ‘What will people say about me?’ and this will cause you to study for longer.”5
In an ideal world, our positive behavior would be motivated by our values rather than by the way we are perceived by others. However, if we use our ignoble intentions as fuel, we can, to use the above example, harness our seemingly shallow hunger for status and attention to propel us beyond where we might have reached based on our own “pure” motivations. One might call such a process spiritual composting—processing our psychic refuse and putting it to work for productive ends.
In another instance, a man asked the Rebbe: “Rebbe, what should I do to get rid of my inflated ego?”
“Why get rid of it?” the Rebbe replied. “Why not live up to your own great expectation of yourself? Be the amazing person whom you believe you are.”
Traditionally, Chasidic thought emphasizes and values bittul, the negation of one’s ego or entitled self. In fact, yeshut, the strong sense of selfhood, which is predicated on a skewed sense of self-importance, is most often considered by the Chasidic masters to be the nemesis of holiness.
However, according to the Rebbe, ego can also be channeled for holiness; in fact, it must be used properly. From this perspective, one’s ego is not inherently negative. To the contrary, if integrated within a broader spiritual structure, it can play a catalyzing role in actualizing our purpose in life by providing the confidence and internal horsepower required to become your greatest self.
Yet another example can be found in the story of a Chasid living in London whose son Yaakov was melancholy by nature. Yaakov was withdrawn and did not seem to get very excited about anything.
“What can I do to change my son’s nature?” the distraught father asked the Rebbe.
The Rebbe replied, “Your son’s nature does not need to be changed. He can use this part of his personality toward positive ends—for example, to help advance his studies.”
“Introversion is good for focused study and contemplation,” the Rebbe explained, adding that a penchant for critical judgment is beneficial for self-refinement and, more broadly speaking, locating what is lacking and articulating what is necessary for progress.6
Sacred Mistakes
In the same way that all aspects of the personality can be channeled and elevated, the Rebbe insisted that all aspects of our life experience—even our misdeeds—are an essential part of our life story and can be harnessed and used for the greater good.
This was the empowering message shared by the Rebbe with a group of Jewish inmates who came to see him. The visit had been organized by R. Sholom Ber Lipskar, who, inspired by the Rebbe’s teachings, founded an organization called Aleph, which helps provide spiritual and moral support for Jewish prisoners and their families.
R. Lipskar shared7 that during their encounter with the Rebbe, “the Rebbe talked about the concept of jail and about the fact that men and women who were incarcerated have a mission from G‑d that is extraordinary; otherwise G‑d would not put them in such a situation where they are in an ‘exile within an exile’8...[The Rebbe then] talked about the [unique] opportunities and mission that these men are on.”9
Put simply, while it’s true that the cause of these individual’s incarceration was related to crimes they committed, the reason they found themselves in prison was that their souls had been handpicked by heaven and sent into a place of exile and existential darkness for the purpose of bringing Divine light into a place of dire hopelessness and despair!
Here, in this radically redemptive approach, the Rebbe asserts that even our mistakes and poor choices can be seen as Divine indicators and invitations meant to help us fulfill our unique Divine purpose.
Unexpected Yield
Indeed, the Rebbe saw the same potential even in the most unexpected of places—sin and transgression—recognizing the explosive power for return and renewal embedded within our spiritual and moral failings.
Always rooting his teachings in classic Judaic texts, the Rebbe often quoted the Talmudic teaching10 that through proper teshuvah, even sins can be transformed into merits and mitzvot. Much like the velocity created by pulling back a slingshot, the spiritual distance and subsequent yearning caused by sin becomes the very force that propels us powerfully toward greater engagement with our soul and spiritual purpose.
A beautiful illustration of this redemptive dynamic is found in the case of a woman who became religious later in life. As a student, the woman had spent many years in the Far East engaging with various spiritual practices, including different forms of idolatry. When she was inspired to return to Judaism, she felt immense remorse, lamenting the degradation of her soul that had occurred while she searched for spiritual truth and meaning.
Writing to the Rebbe, she told her story and received a heartfelt response, referencing a teaching of the Sages that says, “If one claims: ‘I have toiled and did not find,’ do not believe them. If they said: ‘I have found without having toiled,’ do not believe them. If they say: ‘I have toiled (yagati) and I have found (matzati), believe them.”11
The Rebbe concluded:
“Since yagati has definitely been fulfilled, certainly the promise of matzati has also been fulfilled.”12
With this life-changing perspective, the Rebbe reframed the woman’s time and energy spent in India as an integral part of the spiritual “toil” that eventually led her to “find” the truth of Judaism.
Before her encounter with the Rebbe, this woman may have viewed this errant period of her life as a wasted and irredeemable chapter that had corroded her soul and compromised her Divine purpose. But from the Rebbe’s perspective, this woman’s initially misguided and fervent search for truth is what ultimately led to her earnest embrace of Judaism. Without her profound drive to seek spiritual truth, however initially misdirected, she may very well have lived a life of spiritual mediocrity and complacency, and she might have remained forever disconnected from G‑d, her people, and her heritage. In this way, the idolatrous detour she traveled ultimately led her to the path of deep, authentic engagement with Judaism. It was, as the Rebbe emphasized, yagati—a struggle that was essential to the discovery and fulfillment of her life’s purpose.
Here we see how every aspect of one’s life experiences, including the most excruciating and unsettling yagati-struggles, can become integral parts of our journey—necessary developmental stages on the way to fulfilling our life’s purpose.
Hard-Won Lessons
In addition to the powerful momentum generated by spiritual deviation and alienation, the hard-won experiential lessons and insight we gain from a sinful past can be used to help others in their journey avoid the moral pits we fell into.
In the following story, the Rebbe shared this redeeming insight with R. Betzalel Kinn, a baal teshuvah who felt insecure about his former non-observance and considered himself unworthy of being a role model and teacher.
“I don’t feel righteous enough to teach Jewish children,” Betzalel said sheepishly before the Rebbe began laughing merrily, his eyes twinkling.
“If you wait until you are perfect, it will take a long time. So get on with it. If you don’t fulfill your mission in this world, when Mashiach comes, he will ask you why you didn’t do what you were sent down to earth to do. Make no excuses. Get on with it,” the Rebbe replied, closing with the following advice, “Because you fell in a quagmire and lived, you will lead others through the quagmire with a lantern in one hand, pointing out the stepping stones with the other hand. You will get them across to a good place. That is your job.”13 14
From the Rebbe’s perspective, this man’s mistakes were not detrimental to his purpose. Rather, they imparted essential lessons that would enable him to help others safely navigate their own journeys. In this way, he was not only suitable but powerfully and uniquely positioned to excel in his role as teacher.
According to the Rebbe’s redemptive way of viewing the world, our vices, character flaws, misdeeds, and transgressions are not just unfortunate banes and burdens to avoid or regret, but they are also bespoke Divine signposts placed on our path by G‑d to help direct us to the most precise locations where our unique purpose awaits.
Take the Quiz
Do the Thought Exercise
If you could press a button and modify your personality, removing a particular character flaw, would you do it? If so, which one would you remove?
Take the Challenge
Having learned that our flaws are actually some of our most powerful tools for bringing light to the world and fulfilling our individual purpose, can you think of a way to utilize that particular character flaw to do so?
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