I woke up super-early on my birthday, the eighth day of Adar. I was feeling on top of the world. I had just (re)married and our first wedding anniversary was coming up. Thank G‑d, it had been a good year. I had good health, happy children (from my previous marriage), pleasure in my work and a blossoming marriage—thank G‑d!
I don’t take good years for granted. I’ve had a few doozies in my life, so to show my appreciation to G‑d for this wonderful gift, I decided to say the whole book of Psalms.
I am one of those people who prays a lot informally, on the run, throughout my day. But I don’t do much sitting and praying. It was, therefore, a big deal for me. I have only said the entire book of Psalms three times in my life—at each of my weddings.
I went for my usual power walk and then started my prayers. Every hour, I had to change positions to keep me going.
I was almost at the end of the entire book when my daughter called from Israel to give me her blessings and birthday wishes. G‑d bless her; her blessings can go on for some time. Feeling really antsy, I decided to do a handstand while receiving her blessings. (As you may have guessed, I’m flexible and exercise regularly.)
Picture this: me holding the phone while I am topsy-turvy and answering “Amen!” to her blessings. It all went fine until I landed back on the floor. Instead of landing straight, I miscalculated and hit my toe on the radiator.
I knew I had hurt myself when I saw stars!
I don’t know how I said goodbye to my darling daughter, but it was a quick ending. I could hardly breathe but decided to push through and finish saying the rest of the book of Psalms. My prayer book was close by, and I knew I was almost done. It didn’t take long. Then I tried to get up.
Alas, I could not move.
I tried calling my husband. No answer.
At that moment, my neighbor texted me about a mutual friend whose father had just passed away. I asked if she was home and if she could pop into my house, as I had hurt myself. She said yes.
She wanted to call Hatzalah (our local Jewish medical emergency service), but I didn’t want the fuss. She then called her father, a paramedic, and he said I would need an X-ray to see if the toe was broken.
Without going into all the nitty-gritty details, I got an X-ray, and indeed, I had broken my toe in three places. It is called a comminuted fracture—a bad one.
My life changed dramatically for those few weeks. I became an invalid who had to rely on others for my basic needs.
The first few days, I couldn’t walk. Crawling was my way of getting to the bathroom. Unless someone brought me food, getting out of bed was too painful and not worth the effort. After a few days, I was able to get downstairs like a toddler. My husband got me a wheelchair, so I could wheel myself around downstairs at least and not be stuck in bed.
The pain, the drain and the frustration of being unable to zip around the house really got to me. Driving was also out of the question for an entire month.
I went from being a super-active human running two businesses (and cleaning, gardening and decluttering in my spare time) to being a person who now sat in bed or in a wheelchair and did absolutely nothing.
It was the week before Purim, and I could not get excited about the hustle and bustle of any of it. I also didn’t want to bother anyone, so I kept mostly to myself.
What was G‑d telling me? I love G‑d and keep my relationship close. I chat with Him all day.
In fact, we had already chatted about how life was so good, and I knew I could not stay up there forever. Life is like a Ferris wheel, up and down. We shouldn’t be too haughty when we’re on top of the world, nor too despondent when we’re at the bottom.
I tried to stay positive, but it was hard. I knew how blessed I was and I felt G‑d telling me to slow down. “But G‑d,” I asked, “so slow? So quiet? It’s lonely in this space!”
It’s harder to reach out for help when you’re already feeling down, and I fared no different. I kept up my conversations with G‑d and cried a lot. I asked G‑d to show me He was with me; His answer came a week later!
My husband had to leave on business. My brother, his wife and one or two friends checked up on me.
One night, I went to bed early. In the middle of the night, I needed to go to the bathroom. Out of nowhere, I decided to use the guest bathroom.
This is very unlike me as I have an ensuite bathroom right by my bedroom, and I was still hobbling around, so it didn’t make sense to venture any further than I needed to.
As I opened my bedroom door, I saw that lo and behold, the front door was wide open!
“Oh no,” I thought. “First, I fall, and now robbers, too?!”
I screamed downstairs: “Hey robbers! I’m calling the police so you better leave quickly!”
It took me a while to hobble down the stairs. When I got down, there was no one there. Nothing was touched! Nothing was taken! A miracle!
My front door is a modern one; it needs 5 seconds to click after you shut it. I thought I had closed it, but it turns out I had not.
After this, my whole mood changed. G‑d and I were “besties” again! He was smiling down at me, and I was happy He looked after me so kindly and lovingly.
As for the lessons, there was plenty I learned.
- I’m grateful for every nerve, limb, sinew and muscle in my body.
- When I hear of someone who has hurt themselves, I don’t wait or ask; I bring something. It can be soup, salad or cookies. I want to show them that I am thinking of them. I have gained a newfound compassion for people in wheelchairs; their life is so much harder than ours.
- Isolation isn’t only for people who are single or alone. If you think someone might need a pick-me-up-call, just do it!
- Appreciate what you have because it can be gone in the blink of an eye! Now I’m just so grateful for being alive, and having a foot and body that moves with ease.
Thank you, G‑d.
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