Last week, my youngest daughter left for a full month of camp, for her first time.
In the last few weeks, we went to buy her everything she would need. Together, we sat on her bed and labeled all her possessions. And we packed all her belongings into a huge suitcase and a duffel bag.
We spoke a lot about what she could expect in camp. We spoke about different scenarios, and how she could be prepared to deal with them. What if she’d be homesick? What if someone at camp was a bully? What if she became sick?
And then, my husband and I drove her the long distance. We helped her put her bags onto the bus that would take her for the final ride to her camp grounds. We waved goodbye a million times and hugged her just as many.
And now she is on her own.
There’s a bitter-sweetness to sending your child away. You worry about if she will fall asleep at night. You worry about her making new friends. You worry about the food and the many mosquitoes.
But ultimately you trust your child to her own devices, realizing that it is time for her to experience this taste of independence. You realize that as a parent you can only prepare your child so much. Ultimately, she needs to spread her wings and fly on her own.
And perhaps that’s a bit of what this week’s parshah is about.
Although the five books of the Bible were written by Moses, the first four books were transcribed, word for word, as dictated by G‑d, while Devarim was written by Moses “in his own words.”
Moses, a human being, took the Divine intellect and processed it through his own mind so that it became part of him.
G‑d wants us to learn from Moses, too, how to use our own words to create a G‑dly experience. To use our own talents, personalities and actions to express the Divine will. To take the wisdom that G‑d gave us, and apply it to our lives.
And to do so, we need to experience the ups and downs, the successes and the mistakes of our independence.
That is why this section is read on the Shabbat before the Ninth of Av, the saddest day on our national calendar. It reminds us that, while independence has many challenges, ultimately, the loss of the Temples and the subsequent exile will result in a greater elevation. In the final redemption, at the end of our long and lonely journey, we will experience a more intimate relationship with G‑d, precisely because of our own independent efforts.
Oh, and as I write, I just was emailed a picture of my daughter. She is fearlessly rope coursing and has climbed to the very top. She is smiling from ear to ear.
And now, so am I.
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