Okay to Ask Doctor the Gender of the Fetus?

Dear Rabbi,

I am pregnant and curious about the gender of the fetus. Is it okay for me to ask the doctor to do a sonogram to find out?

Answer:

Strictly speaking, one is permitted to perform a test to learn the gender of an unborn fetus; however, many have the custom not to perform any tests for this purpose, or, if a sonogram is performed for other reasons, not to ask the doctor what the gender of the child is.

This custom is based on what our sages say in the Midrash:

Seven things are concealed from people:

The day of death.

The day a person will be consoled [from distress and grief].

The absolute truth in a judgment.

How one will earn a livelihood.

What is in a neighbor's heart.

What [is the gender of the child] a woman is bearing.

When the wicked will fall.

…“What a woman is bearing,” for it says (Ecclesiastes 11:5), “As you do not know what is the way of the wind, just as things enclosed in the full womb; so will you not know G‑d's work, who does everything.”1

Rabbi Shmuel Yaffe Ashkenazi (1525-1595) explains in his commentary on the Midrash that “what a woman is bearing” is kept hidden so that the parents don’t become disappointed if they find out that the child’s gender is not what they had hoped for (or that there are medical or developmental issues). On the other hand, if they find that the child’s gender is what they had hoped for, the knowledge could diminish the excitement and anticipation of the birth, which would detract from the strong spirit needed to carry the woman through the difficult labor process.2

See Are There Jewish Customs for Pregnancy and Birth? from the Pregnancy and Birth minisite.

Footnotes

Midrash Bereishit Rabah 65:12 and Kohelet Rabah 11:5 . The Talmud, Pesachim 54b, gives a similar list of things that are hidden from man, but replaces “what a woman is bearing” with “when the Davidic dynasty will return.”

Yefe Toar on Midrash Bereishit Rabah, ibid. See Nishmat Avraham, Yoreah Deah 189:3; Torat Hayoledet 57:1, footnote 2.

By Yehuda Shurpin

A noted scholar and researcher, Rabbi Yehuda Shurpin serves as content editor at Chabad.org, and writes the popular weekly Ask Rabbi Y column. Rabbi Shurpin is the rabbi of the Chabad Shul in St. Louis Park, Minn., where he resides with his wife, Ester, and their children.

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17 Comments

Larry F. NY November 27, 2022

Another thing concealed from us...the day of Mashiach. Reply

Anonymous December 6, 2015

The Rebbe warned against sonograms when the machines in use were far less powerful than those of today, whose output is tens of times if not more than those in use then. His advice, as would be expected, was extraordinarily prescient.
Studies show consistently that sonograms do NOT confer any real benefit on the wellbeing of the fetus. More importantly, the high rate of false positives (seeing problems where none exist) make the mother anxious - and THAT is bad for both fetus and mother.
Many, many babies are born with the cord around their neck and in no danger whatsoever - it's not called an emergency by any means. Placentas, too, change location during pregnancy and studies have shown that "placenta previa" in a sonogram is rarely so (less than 10%) at birth. In any case, it's easy enough to diagnose during labor without the worry beforehand, still plenty of time to do a c-section if needed.
So, to do something of questionable safety in order to find out the gender of the baby? Reply

Esther London July 27, 2023

in response to Anonymous:

Too bad I have not read your comment when I was pregnant. Reply

Lisa Providence, RI February 15, 2014

Asking the Doctor the Gender of the Baby I see nothing wrong with curiosity. I believe asking makes life easier because you'll know what you're dealing with. Reply

Rabbi Shmary Brownstein Chabad.org July 4, 2013

Re: Learning sex of baby If I understand correctly, you are asking whether prenatal screening is necessary so as to determine whether the baby has congenital adrenal hyperplasia. This is a condition that is not always life threatening. Additionally, all newborns are screened for it at birth, and can be effectively treated if this condition is detected. On the other hand, prenatal screening sometimes yields false positives. One who chooses not to have sonograms, particularly if there are no symptoms that cause concern, need not worry about CAH. Reply

Anonymous NY, USA May 25, 2013

"Rabbi Shmuel Yaffe Ashkenazi (1525-1595) explains in his commentary on the Midrash that “what a woman is bearing” is kept hidden so that the parents don’t become disappointed if they find out that the child’s gender is not what they had hoped for (or that there are medical or developmental issues). "

I'm sorry, but what prevents the parents from being just as disappointed by any of these things after the baby is born? If you had hoped for a girl, and found out in the ultra sound it was a boy, wouldn't you be just as "disappointed" originally as you would be after the child is born and you had hoped for a girl and not a boy? Reply

Aviva Sydney, Australia June 17, 2012

Re: 'Sonograms' by Moish The age of the Foetus can be determined based on the first day of the last period.
This is a medically valid point of reference and most doctors only request a dating scan if the mother can not remember this date with confidence.
A woman who keeps Taharas HaMishpacha should have no need for a dating scan under normal circumstances. Reply

Anonymous London, England March 9, 2012

regarding the saying with modern technology, the direction of the wind can be determined and is always mentioned on weather channels (e.g. a north easterly wind). although the other 6 hold true, perhaps the 7th is out of date.its not a rule or anything in judaism - just a saying that was appropriate for the time. Reply

Anonymous Bklyn, NY via chabadofalabama.com February 12, 2012

Sonograms There are many situations that a sonogram can reveal that would be medically important and would not violate halacha. For example, a baby with an umbilical cord around its neck (that could strangle during birth), or a baby with the cord tied around a limb (that could lose the limb during gestation); or placenta previa, where the placenta blocks the cervix so the baby can't be delivered; breach presentation, where the baby is backwards and vaginal delivery is risky; and many other things. Knowing about these things lets the doctor do something about it--like a C-section, for example, or surgical intervention. Why anyone would want to run these risks is just insane. By the way, sonograms work on SOUND (hence the name "ultra-SOUND") and do not involve radiation AT ALL. Reply

Yehuda Shurpin for Chabad.org February 3, 2012

Re: Sonorams The article was meant to address the specific question of finding out the gender of the baby, Leaving alone the broader question of sonograms in general. The Lubavitcher Rebbe was indeed against routine sonograms, such as those done "just to see the baby" (it would seem that one of the reasons for this was the unnecessary exposure to radiation). The Rebbe only agreed to a sonogram if, as a result of the sonogram, specific action that is acceptable according to halachah and safe, might be taken as a result of the sonogram.

It should be noted that others (including Rabbi Moshe Feinstein) also cautioned against sonograms if the results may cause the doctor to recommend specific actions that are prohibited according to Jewish law. Reply

Gigi CA, USA February 2, 2012

A 18-20 week sonogram is generally considered necessary for gathering some useful data, however, it is not essential. Honestly, sizing the fetus for determination of gestational age is not especially accurate, mine was altered by over a week from one scan to the next, and women can give birth anywhere in the 'normal' time frame of 37 - 42 weeks. So I dont see why you must have the sonogram. Whether you want to know about abnormalities is a personal choice, but if you would not consider abortion anyway, then again the sonogram findings are redundant.

Sonograms are just for info gathering and monitoring, they arent some kind of magical wand used to prevent complications!!

Friends I have who hold to Chabad customs have all chosen to forego sonograms. I believe that is the prevailing opinion unless you have reason to suspect a problem - say bleeding, known genetic problems, apparent failure to thrive, maternal illness, suspected twins maybe? Reply

moish February 1, 2012

sonograms The Rebbe passed away many years ago. Today many doctors say every mother should have a sonogram to avoid future complications. Amongst other issues, the dr needs to know the exact age of the fetus, thus they will now exact estimated due date, which is hard to predict without a sonogram at one of the earlier stages. Reply

Anonymous January 29, 2012

Broader Question My wife and I are expecting our first child - G-d willing may it be at a good and auspicious time!!!

In addition to the question on finding out the gender of the child, we have been told that the Rebbe discouraged any unnecessary sonograms.

Can you help clarify what the Rebbe and Chabad's view really is, and how we can relate to it in light of the obvious medical questions and concerns. Reply

Karina Spak Buenos Aires, Argentina January 27, 2012

Okay to Ask Doctor the Gender of the Fetus? Yehuda, when you say that the parents could be disappointed if they see medical or develomental issues, what exactly do you mean? I am no doctor, but iits known that there are several illness that if detected in the womb, they can be helped. And if not, then don't do ultrasound at all, since the whole purpose of it is detecting anomalities.

Regards. Reply

Randy Farb Flint, Michigan via chabadgn.com January 26, 2012

Okay To Ask About Gender I am wondering if the parable of Shem informing Rebecca about the births of Esau and Jacob have any bearing on the midrash. Reply

Fangyu Cerritos, CA USA January 25, 2012

Toda Raba for the knowledge! I love Judaism! The 7 things are so true. Shalom:-) Reply

levi rapoport brooklyn, ny January 25, 2012

thanx i always wondered this one Reply

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