ב"ה
Chana Margulies |
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 Raised on an organic farm in Canada, Chana now lives in the mystical city of Tzfat with her husband Ariel. She teaches, gives mikvah tours and challah-baking workshops, coaches couples, and speaks about her journey through cancer treatment. Reach out to introduce yourself or for coaching services and speaking engagements.
G‑d can give us a family, a car, a house and a job, and I may not enjoy any of it. Why? Because no matter how good it is now, the shakiness of what about tomorrow steals the show and scares me.
There is no way that my challenge is a punishment or cruel. This is an opportunity to reach my atah—“my essence,” the part of me that remembers what it is like to be bound up with the Essence of life.
Chana wasn’t drunk. But she taught me how to be sober.
G‑d does not want me to be a Penina to myself—to motivate myself from a place of pain and lack.
Giving unasked-for advice appears innocent, but it sends a harsh message to the person receiving it. It sounds like: “You can’t do this.” “This challenge is bigger than you.”
On the one hand, to only be a child forever is quite limiting. We want to be purposeful, to be productive. And yet, we want to keep the sincerity of the child: her excitement, love and wholehearted ability to move on.
I so badly wanted to say, on behalf of all the couples embracing infertility, “Perhaps you can save the bonding over being parents until after we leave?”
When I leave the ark of my morning prayers, it’s a beautiful world—one that I can work with and add light to.
Eventually, I grew tired of playing the martyr and blaming Him. I started to wonder if the pain I blamed on heaven was coming from within.
As I greeted our guests at the door, I froze. Her oversized sweater said it all.
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