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Chava Green

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Chava Green is a writer, teacher and perpetual student. After graduating with her BA in Women’s and Gender Studies, she attended Mayanot Women’s Program in Jerusalem and Machon Alta in Tzfat. She currently lives in Atlanta, Ga., where she attends graduate school at Emory University and assists her husband with his shlichus work at Chabad Intown.
I always felt like my outfits were a way to express myself. If clothing is a language, then what do I want to say?
After all the hard work of labor and recovery, having a brit only eight days later can be overwhelming.
It was 4 in the morning, and the whole house was quiet and asleep. I sat alone on a couch in the living room, silently sobbing with a frantic baby in my arms. A few weeks into motherhood found me exhausted, bewildered and unable to breastfeed.
By the time I got to college, I realized that the threshold for a guy to express his feelings was absurdly low. A text saying, “Hey, what’s up?” was the equivalent of a bouquet of roses.
"All my visions of the “perfect seder” had been dashed."
All my deeply ingrained fears and doubts smirked at the glorious opportunity to rule over my mind in a moment of weakness.
So many times in my life I had planned out my future, and so many times I had been handed the unexpected. It struck me at that moment that I was experiencing the hand of G‑d literally reaching into my life and changing the course of my future.
The pressure subtly built a reality around me that I could not achieve. If the dream of that success failed, then everything was lost.
Perhaps you can’t see it, so it takes a bit more faith that it is there.
I’m ashamed to say this: Today, I saw a man on the street, black and elderly, splayed on his back, his cane awkwardly wedged behind his knee, eyes half-open, not moving a muscle, and I just kept walking.
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