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Cheshbon HaNefesh

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Cheshbon HaNefesh: (lit. “an account of the soul”); a process of stocktaking and introspection with regard to one’s Divine service
On Memory, Remorse and Returning
How about someone who abandoned a religious lifestyle because she was abused by the authority figures of that system?
I grew up in a very emotionally cold environment. My parents showed very little love or affection, and they couldn’t tolerate when either I or my siblings showed emotion. The result being that I have a hard time now dealing with my emotions...
I've been told that in the month of Elul, we are supposed to do a cheshbon hanefesh – "an accounting of the soul." Though I have a bachelor's degree in mathematics, I still can't figure this one out.
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