Robyn Cuspin

When tragedy finally came, these rules could not protect me, and it forced me to confront the real costs of playing it safe. How much had I missed out on, I wondered, as I traveled the safe route?

How do I close this unlocked chamber of longing? These days are swollen with unspoken meaning.

I can't blame my mother, whose illness and family history prevented her from being able to mother, nor can I blame my grandmother for raising a daughter unable to mother...

Already at age five, I had moved much further beyond my own mother's boundaries than my daughter could ever imagine, and by age eleven, I had broken out of those boundaries entirely...

Six months ago I had a late-stage miscarriage, and gave birth to a baby that had passed away in the fifth month. I got out of the hospital, and began to write...

When I was able to finally meet my husband's grandparents who could not travel to the wedding, my entire outlook on the fragileness of love was challenged forever...

My life is filled with blessings. Yet I can easily pass an entire day focusing entirely on what I am lacking. I can get caught up in small frustrations and spend hours agonizing over miniscule losses...

This is a no man's land, a land where weight loss is truly a loss. I would happily trade places with my burgeoning neighbors, but I didn't make it to the third trimester...

The night before my routine ultrasound, I cried for two hours, as waves of sadness crashed over me, and took me deeper and deeper into a sea of grief, a grief so deep there were no words...