After Jacob received the coveted blessings intended for Esau, he was compelled to flee to his mother’s family in Haran to escape Esau’s wrath. After spending 20 years in Haran, G‑d appeared to Jacob and instructed him to return home, promising, “I will be with you.”1 Notwithstanding G‑d’s promise of protection, Jacob took a number of precautions to prepare for his encounter with Esau and his 400 men: he sent messengers and gifts to placate Esau, he prayed, and he actively prepared for war.

But when the brothers finally met, instead of attacking Jacob, Esau rushed forward, embraced him, and kissed him. Was this a sudden change of heart? Did Esau experience a moment of repentance? Below, we will explore how the biblical commentators interpret this episode.

1. Esau Was Placated by Jacob Prostrating Himself - Rashi

Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki 1040 – 1105) understands that when Jacob prostrated himself before Esau, he evoked Esau’s mercy. This appears to be based on the Midrash which states that “He did not cease to bow down until the attribute of justice was turned to mercy.”2 Rabbi David Kimhi (1160 – 1235), known by the acronym Radak, expands on this and explicitly states that at that moment, Esau forgave Jacob entirely.3 Gersonides (Levi ben Gershon, 1288 – 1344) commonly known as Ralbag, adds that when Esau saw that Jacob seemed remorseful, as evidenced by him prostrating himself, they embraced and kissed like the long-lost brothers they were.4

2. Esau Forgave Jacob Before They Even Met - Rashbam & Chizkuni

Rashi’s grandson, Rabbi Shmuel ben Meir (1085 – 1158), known as Rashbam, interprets these verses in a surprising manner. Although most commentaries understand the report that Jacob received that Esau was approaching accompanied by 400 men as a threat of war, Rashbam understands these 400 men as a guard of honor for Jacob. According to Rashbam, Esau harbored no ill feelings toward Jacob during this episode, even though that is evidently not how Jacob read the situation, as he clearly feared for his life after receiving the report. Still, according to this understanding, Esau’s intentions were good.

As proof, Rashbam cites similar verbiage in Exodus where the verse describes Moses’ return to Egypt. After being forced to flee Egypt —for having killed an Egyptian who was harming a Jew—Moses eventually settled in Midian where he married and raised his family. While tending to the flocks of his father-in-law Yitro, G‑d revealed Himself to Moses in the famous episode of the burning bush. During this exchange with G‑d, in which Moses expressed his reluctance to serve as the Divine ambassador, G‑d described Aaron’s reception of Moses upon his return. There, the verse uses the exact same language as in our verse in Genesis: “He is coming forth toward you, and when he sees you, he will rejoice in his heart.”5 This phrase unmistakably conveys a joyful and heartfelt reception.6

This view is echoed by Rabbi Hezekiah ben Manoach (1250 - 1310) known by the title of his commentary Chizkuni.7

3. It Was a Fleeting Moment of Compassion - Sifrei

When Jacob and Esau finally met, Esau embraced and kissed Jacob. In the Torah scroll, small dots appear over the Hebrew word for “and he kissed him” (וַֹיִֹשָֹׁקֵֹהֹוֹּ). In interpreting these dots, the Midrash Rashi cites reads as follows:

[Some interpret the dots to mean that] he did not kiss him wholeheartedly. Rabbi Simeon ben Yochai said: It is a well-known tradition that Esau hated Jacob, but his compassion was moved at that time and he kissed him wholeheartedly.8

This second explanation seems to imply that while the kiss may have been genuine, it was not a true reconciliation. At the end of the day, Esau’s hatred for Jacob endured.9

4. G‑d Orchestrated a Change of Heart - Malbim

In a similar vein, Rabbi Meir Leibush (1809 – 1879), more commonly known as the Malbim, notes on the words, “And Esau ran toward him,” that, “G‑d changed his hate to love.” This means that Esau himself did not forgive Jacob or even harbor any positive feelings for him. G‑d, however, had promised Jacob that he would protect him. He therefore intervened to change Esau’s intentions.10

5. He Attempted to Bite Jacob - Midrash Rabbah

This approach, cited by various commentators, reconstrues Esau’s kiss as an attempt to bite Jacob’s neck. G‑d performed a miracle and turned his neck into a solid block of marble. In this reading, the dots allude to the fact that this was not a typical kiss. Some note that Rashi does not cite this explanation as it does not align with the simple reading of the text.11

6. The Angels Jacob Sent Affected a Change in Esau - The Rebbe

In the Rebbe’s reading, the angels Jacob sent12 were able to affect positive change in Esau. Esau’s ability to interact with these angels meant that even though he was not fully transformed, he was still able to reach a point of reconciliation. This interaction set the groundwork for the kiss that would take place when they met. This coming together of Jacob and Esau was an important breakthrough. It showed that even in this physical world of falsehood, Esau, who represents the “other side,” bows to Jacob—the side of holiness.13

7. Esau Had the Ability to Bring Ultimate Redemption - Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi

In this kabbalistic reading, Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi explains that Jacob recognized Esau’s unique strengths and understood that achieving the world’s ultimate destiny required combining those qualities with his own. Jacob was sure that he had successfully redeemed the sparks of holiness necessary to herald in the Ultimate Redemption. This profound spiritual achievement affected their reconciliation, culminating in the kiss that Esau bestowed upon Jacob. Ultimately, however, Esau was not ready. He was still very much entrenched in the physicality of this world—as represented by the 400 men that accompanied him.14.