It was inevitable.

Yes, I know you invested so much in this relationship. I know you spent the last two years planning the wedding and the honeymoon. And yet I still think it was inevitable. Sooner or later, you would offend her deeply.

Think about it. You are different people, with different backgrounds, experiences and expectations. In fact, your differences are what attracted you to each other in the first place. No surprise, then, that after the excitement of the wedding, when you got back to real life, you fell back into your old habits and shattered her heart.

What should you do now, you ask? If she loves you, she will let you know what to doShould you buy her chocolates or roses, or take her out to dinner? Well, pay attention. Try everything you can think of, but keep paying attention.

For if she loves you, she will let you know what to do.

After the pain subsides, if you listen carefully, she will show you just how you should console her. And how she wants you to demonstrate that you care about her, that you cherish the relationship and that you are determined to rebuild the connection.

Listen carefully and you will hear.

And that is exactly what happened in the most dramatic story of newlywed betrayal. Just forty days after the most monumental wedding in history—the wedding between G‑d and the Jewish people at Sinai—the bride betrayed the groom. The people served the Golden Calf, striking the heart of their Beloved.

The Jews were sure that the relationship was doomed.

And yet, somehow, it survived.

The relationship survived, and not only because of the story you heard in Hebrew school, about Moses threatening G‑d, telling Him to forgive the people, “and if not, erase me from Your book which You have written.”1

It survived because of the lesser-known continuation of the story, in which Moses asked G‑d, “Show me Your glory.”2 Moses asked G‑d to show them what they could do to restore the relationship.

G‑d agreed. And, in what may be one of the most convoluted verses in all of the Torah, G‑d said, “You will see My back, but My face will not be seen.”3

The rabbis, aware that this verse captures a deep mystical truth, explain that G‑d wrapped Himself in a tallit and tefillin,4 then turned His back to Moses and showed him “the knot of the head-tefillin.”5

Moses listened.

He listened, and learned how the Jews can save their marriage with G‑d. He listened as G‑d showed him the ingredients needed to recreate the love.

The tallit and tefillin serve as reminders. The Torah states regarding the tallit: “This shall be fringes for you, and when you see it, you will remember all the commandments of the L‑rd.”6 And regarding the tefillin it is written: “It shall be to you as a sign upon your hand and as a remembrance between your eyes.”7

G‑d was teaching Moses that for our relationship to thrive, we must “wear the tallit.” We must show Him that we “remember,” that we are constantly mindful of how important this relationship is to us. To survive emotional betrayal, our Beloved must have no doubt that we constantly cherish our relationship with Him, more than anything else. More than our hobbies and more than our careers.

“Remembering,” however, can be too abstract. And that’s why we also need the “knot of the tefillin.” The knot represents our actions, which connect us to G‑d. And like a rope that was torn, we need to tie a double knot. We need to demonstrate that because the We need to tie a double knotrelationship is now at the forefront of our mind, we are prepared to double the actions that bind us to Him.8

So put on your metaphorical tallit and tefillin. Show Him that you remember. Tie the double knot. You’ll discover that the bond is deeper than ever.