Vote here: Mister Poll

But first, keep this in mind: You're not just choosing some nice little chatchka to entertain the kids for a few hours. Neither are you choosing a cute pet to integrate into the family. You're going to get this Feivel and he's going to be connected to your brain. That's right: You'll be the mind, Feivel will be the heart. You're choosing who you want to be.

Along with an easy-to-assemble Feivel in a choice of infinity-blue, kabbalah-pink or candy-turquoise, a battery recharger with a universal adapter, and a brain-to-Feivel transmission device, you'll get the training DVD that demonstrates all the mind-over-heart issues we talked about in past blogs. Basically, according to the state of your brain waves, that's what's going to be happening in Feivel. Together, you and Feivel will become one person.

Now you're asking, "Why on earth would anybody want to do that?"

So here's why: Controlled, double-blind studies in our lab have demonstrated that consistent Feivel training over a period of only three months drastically increased mind-mastery, self-confidence, concentration, emotional stability, cosmic consciousness and general enjoyment of life in 98.72% of subjects who survived to complete the term. Furthermore, before-and-after fMRI scans conclusively demonstrated permanent structural changes in the frontal cortex and basal ganglia of these subjects. It is theorized that these changes could be a major factor in offsetting ADD, OCD, PDD, GLT, NYPD and just about anything else a pediatric psychiatrist could throw at you.

Obviously, this is something that no budding Kabbalist fan would want to pass up. The question is only: Feivel Lite™ or Feivel Pro™?

Feivel Lite™ leads you to a state of ultimate mind-heart mastery, tranquility and serene higher consciousness. Your heart becomes a crystal vessel for the enlightenment of the mind. Your emotions and behavior are guided in perfect harmony to your inner vision. You gain high social status and could likely even start your own cult, if it weren't for the selflessness clause in the Feivel sales agreement.

Feivel Pro™, on the other hand, leads to an unpredictable life of incessant challenge. Setbacks, mess-ups, tantrums and burnouts are all default features of the Feivel Pro landscape. It's certainly possible to avoid serious disgrace, outrage and abomination of lasting repercussion, but only by being forever on guard. In a word, the job of the Feivel Pro master is to continually be Feivel and not be Feivel at once.

For further information on the two modes of Feivelness, please examine chapters 12–16 and 27–28 of the world's first Practical-Kabbalah-for-the-Everyman book, Sefer HaTanya by Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi.

Now here's the Big Deal: As a dedicated KToons addict, this is your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to provide your input. Just comment below, telling us which Feivel you would rather integrate into your personality and why. Then, don't forget to register your vote at Mister Poll so we can begin mass production accordingly.

It should be noted that the Original Manufacturer seems to have had an overwhelming preference for Feivel Pro. Unless you have a better explanation for the human race.

For information on Feivel Inc. investment opportunities, please visit our corporate site.