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When Your Spouse Messes Up

Think about this strange wedding custom

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When Your Spouse Messes Up: Think about this strange wedding custom

Podcast: Subscribe to Yacov Barber - Parsha Messages
Vayeitzei, Wedding, Marriage, Veiling of the Bride ("Badeken"), Chupah

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16 Comments
Maria Ray Renton December 3, 2022

Rabbi my husband and I have not ever heard the why and the wisdom of these customs. Thank you for the insight it was beautiful and much received. We have been married 40 yrs and have never heard this type of teaching/ wisdom spoken of...Blessings and Mazel Tov! Reply

Alicia Madrid July 30, 2021

Thanks a lot Rab Yacob Barber. I was missing your wise and nice speeches! Breaking something in a non-angels team is certainly a good deal. Reply

John Ct July 28, 2021

Isn't the reason for breaking the glass to remember the destruction of the temple? Reply

Jeanette Mass Melbourne Australia December 8, 2020

Really important to hear & remember this in life. Thank you Rabbi Barber Reply

Eli Sydney February 24, 2019

So insightful and so relevant today. Thank you for reaching inside my soul and waking me up. Reply

Nieminen Finland December 15, 2018

Please Rabbi we need more videos with your wisdom , I keep watching the same one over and over. Because I like it so much. Reply

Anonymous Chicago, il December 11, 2016

Beautiful, beautiful thoughts, and so encouraging. Reply

Shoshana Jerusalem December 10, 2016

to anonymous, Chicago and others Rufuah Shleimah! May you get better fast and have many more years, until 120, together with your husband, in good health and loving peace.


To James Martin, yes, you are very crude and anyway that is not the reason.

to Steven, your story is beautiful.. May you live together in peace for 120 years. Reply

Alicia MADRID December 9, 2016

To Steven in Iowa Your story is so funny and endearing. That is love: the fact of making the effort over the years, to appreciate the other person flaws or aesthetic sense. I would bet she knows that, and it would be the reason why she doesnt mind to go shopping again for her new pot not broken ... ;) Reply

James Martin Cheltenham, Glos, England December 8, 2016

Christian Comment At the risk of being crude, couldn't the glass breaking be a reference to the hymen breaking - without that there is no true marriage. Reply

Rick Miller La Mesa December 8, 2016

Thank you, Rabbi You never fail to touch and inspire me.
Thank you. Reply

Steven Iowa December 7, 2016

Yes, my wife was glad when I broke a dish Rabbi,

My wife likes to buy expensive, functional pottery. She has a good eye for the pieces, and, over the years, I have come to appreciate her aesthetic sense.
Early in our years together, we were in the kitchen. I had been on call the evening before, and I was clumsy. A piece of her pottery slid from my hands and shattered. She saw my stricken face, came into my arms and said, "It's ok. It just gives me a reason to buy more."
So, yes, it can happen that the wife says, "I'm happy you broke the dish!"
And, yes, she is a very, very forgiving wife. Reply

Judy Freedman Hashmonaim, Israel December 7, 2016

Thank you Every couple should listen to this at least once a year Reply

Anonymous Ohio December 7, 2016

Amen Thank you for this lesson. You gave this drash over just when I needed to hear it!! My husband and Ii have been married for only 5 1/2 years, and we are both a bit older than most newly weds (I am 53, he is 68). Lately I have been going through some health difficulties, and it has affected my temperment in a negative way. My husband is a saint, though. . . . I do manage to apologize for my emotional slip ups, but I would still rather be better at not finding fault and at being patient, etc. in the first place. I agree so much with what you said at the end, Rabbi--our fault finding radar is usually really a mirror of our own character. Thank you so much for this reminder. Reply

Alicia MADRID December 7, 2016

Such beautiful and true Dear Rabbi Jacov Barber,

I find your explanations so useful for me and my particular case, because your examples are so clear and symple. Thanks a lot for keeping our faith alive in this way. Your words are true from many perspectives, I think. One is the Psychological one: when one person sees a fault on someone else, more than likely they have the same fault belongs to themself. That is why a Psychologist might have little faults or any to be able to help other people. Berakah. Reply

Esther Tel Aviv December 7, 2016

Thank you Rabbi! So good to hear! May all the singles be zoche to find their bashert and to live up to this Torah. Reply

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