The Five Love Languages

A chassidic couple tells all

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The Five Love Languages: A chassidic couple tells all

Discover the five key ingredients for a healthy and happy marriage. Rabbi Avraham and Mrs. Goldie Plotkin draw on the Torah’s timeless wisdom and their decades of experience in marriage counseling to demonstrate what’s essential for successful relationships.

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Topics:	Women, Femininity & Feminism, Relationships, Shalom Bayit (Marital Harmony), Marriage

By Goldie and Avraham Plotkin

Goldie Plotkin is co-director of Chabad of Markham in Thornhill, Ontario and director of the Torah Tots Pre-School. She was the keynote speaker at the International Convention of Shluchos in 2010.

Rabbi Avraham E. Plotkin is the director of Chabad-Lubavitch of Markham, Ontario.

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12 Comments

Anna Marie Virgint Wilmington January 18, 2023

Lots of great insights. Thank you! I shared your video with my Jewish partner ... he emails me Dr. Chapman's emails. I am not Jewish, but the shared wisdom from this author and, especially, the Torah are a blessing. Thanks for explicating the contents from your perspective. The Jewish-Believer tension in my relationship was softened with this content. Thank you so much! Reply

Goldie Plotkin December 5, 2018

I would recommend purchasing the book: "The five languages" and take the test that is recommended by the author. You and your husband can both take the test to determine your primary and secondary languages and take it from there. hatzlocha on many more happy and loving years together. Reply

Anonymous December 4, 2018

Which language? Thank you so much. How do we figure out what our love language is?? We are married more than 20 years thank God, but it's feeling like it's going dead. Reply

Sarah July 26, 2016

G-d and the 5 languages of love Of course a Jewish marriage is a partnership with God. There are many deep explanations that help us realise and understand the sanctity of marriage. To keep this lofty sanctity we need practical tools. They showed how the 5 languages of love are already mentioned in the Torah, and discussed these practical tools from a Jewish perspective. Great job! Reply

Annette Toronto January 13, 2016

5 Love Languages shiur in Jewish terms; the goyim have fun ways of sharing our Torah wisdom This book was available to me in the 90's - absolutely fabulous and the Plotkins do a fine job sharing it and in the Jewish context. It was a condition of dating my 2nd husband (I'm a baal tshuva, he's ffb) - turns out he too had read it and wanted it included in our dating chats. It made a fine compliment to R Mannis Friedman's 'Doesn't anyone blush anymore' - an amazingly well written book (should be mandatory for the whole country/world to read) This book shares the important principle of boundaries at all levels. An almost taboo topic in an age of entitlement.
Dr Chapman's sister, Florence Littauer also wrote a book called Personality Plus. These 3 books changed my life for the better. If I invest time to read credible topics/authors, I take them seriously and incorporate them into my life. For good.
Yasher Koach Rabbi & Rebetzin Plotkin. Reply

Shelley Toronto December 20, 2015

For Degel In all respectfulness, sir; i think you are missing the levels of application.

A biblical story that is called to my mind which shows a tension here is in Judges: Samson and Delila. True, she, 'cuts his hair'; she emasculates him and alienates him from his higher energy source ...
Think 'Up sherin'. Why and for what reasons is this honored ... at birth?

Different times of life for different teachings.

Sanctification of the new month, etc. is also a very healthful teaching. The goal is a partnership with G-d. Time is of the essence. Reply

Degel Texas December 19, 2015

What lesson is his? Nice talk, but how consistent is it with the last Rabbi Plotkin's lesson about roots of an evil eye. If I understood it correctly, there he praised Josef for being above material, focusing on his mission. Why, all of a sudden, he gives such great important to gifts and spending time in luxurious restaurants? No questions, there are gifts and there are gifts:
You can go all over the world and you will see that the biggest corruption everywhere starts from the wish of a man to satisfy his spouse desires with material needs. Most of the men would not finish their lives in prison unless his wives wanted from them more and more gifts.
The best moshol (parable) about it is in Fairy Tail About Golden Fish, where an old man caught a fish that could fulfill any desire and he asked her everything that his wife wanted as a gift... Do you know what they ended up with? With the same broken wash-tub that had been at the beginning. Reply

Anonymous December 18, 2015

Beautiful advice thank you Reply

Shelley Toronto December 16, 2015

Seeing and exercising the links: cleaning the barnacles off your mother of pearl i am divorced. my Ex. husband just won a large prize: appreciation in his line of work; i am reminded that some of these laws are still applicable... the weather major life hurdles, compliments and decency in separation that is still a 'relationship' is needed.

When these moments of glory happen for the other person, it is like the old music changes it's chord structure: funny and relieving and for a moment, you fall in love again. Unexpected and intriguing. Then you remember that he doesn't change light bulbs ...

When Nora Joyce, wife of James Joyce, the author, was asked what she was thinking the day she met her husband, she famously said: "I was wishing my boots wouldn't leak".. so this is good to remember too; a Mercedes may never manifest in the relationship, but the gift of true emmuna is to trust in the heavens that the foundation of your love of God ... is secure. And to keep praying, to keep forgiving. Reply

Anonymous December 16, 2015

Being a DIY woman, I was more concerned about your car than the marriage topic to be honest :) I hope all is well now (with your car)and I will try and concentrate on the rest of your lesson next time. Reply

Dina USA December 16, 2015

Thank you for such a wonderful video i really enjoyed this and even took notes. I'm married again (my first ended in divorce as he was physically abusive). I've been married now for nearly 13 years and our marriage has gone stale with lots of arguing and aging problems (I'm 64 & he is nearly 72). After watching your video, I now have ideas on how to bring more happiness into our marriage. One problem I notice is a lack of touch. We keep different hours, (he is up at 2am & I sleep until 7:30 or 8. So, we haven't dated or done anything in years. He doesn't want planning but wants me to initiate. But, either is too tired. So, I will review & see where I can start small. He is never interested in these videos, but I wish we could watch together.
He did ask me what happened to the cards we used to buy & give each other. But, due to eye problems I don't drive. So, maybe I'll start making him some, or love notes. We need to jump start our marriage. Reply

Anonymous Albuquerque December 15, 2015

Marriage My name is Ana. I am single. I am totally enlightened by this very important discussion about marriage. I appreciate the value of this lesson. The ideas and creative ways to enrich each other's lives is an investment I do not want to miss out on! I am in my mid 50's and this teaching has given me hope and a desire to marry again! SHALOM! Reply

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