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The Romance of Attraction

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Romance of Attraction

We all tak about it; but what is it? What is the science of attraction? What does a man truly find irresistible about a woman? Can attraction only be about the continuation of our species?

Topics:

Men & Women, Finding a Mate; Dating, Marriage

Getting Closer

By Manis Friedman

Rabbi Manis Friedman, a noted Chassidic philosopher, author and lecturer, is dean of Bais Chana Women's Institute of Jewish Studies.

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13 Comments

Gigi Vinitsa, Bulgaria August 9, 2012

marriage I like what the Rabbi spoke about husband and wife, I always wanted a marriage to have a husband who share his and my spiritual life. That we love each other with the love of G-d, but this is a dream I had in my mind. I married two times without listening to G-d, and I payed my price for this. Now I believe I will never get a chance again to get the spouse who will be my second part of my soul and spirit. Reply

Reuven Green Israel June 2, 2011

Attraction The Rabbi speaks about how things should be.
I feel he doesn't address the spiritual "dynamics" of physical and sensual attraction. Reply

Anonymous panama, panama April 12, 2011

singleness You said the person chooses to be single. This doesnt come from above. To be single or have someone. Im single and I dont choose to be this way. I dont want to be this way. But I cant get anyone. Please explain.
Your other half comes from Above? Reply

Catherine NY, NY February 23, 2010

Marriage....between a male and female is complete The Rabbi should be a keynote speaker at the state and federal level when it comes to the subject of marriage being only between a man and a woman. He is once again, right. The completeness can come because of the fact that the lock and key matches. Without the proper fit, without the unique qualities that each gender can give the other, the door will not open, happiness and fullfillment can never be achieved. When male loves and "marries" only a male, and female only female, the lock remains with a lock and the key with the key....incomplete and useless..forever seaching for meaning. Reply

eric November 16, 2009

TO BE OR NO TO BE COMPLETE, THIS IS THE QUESTION Reading the comments of some regarding the message of Rabbi Friedman, i understand that some people considere themselves compleet in themselve, that is by and for only themselve, if this is to be compleet so be it, but how pretentious to think that the world start and finishes with you? For sure to be complete must surely includes something or someone else. In this unjewish way, one may even be completely jewish without any other jewish person, then there will be the synagogue and services of one, who needs 10 anymore? completness of one by itself is completly absurde,crazy and other qualifications that i do not write here... Reply

Laura Ellen Truelove Sewanee, TN, USA October 30, 2009

Being Complete Rabbi Friedman is so very wise! It cannot be denied that men and women complete each other. A good marriage is beautiful but, oh, so rare. But what about those of us who choose to be single? Perhaps we are widows or widowers but we no longer desire a spouse. When there is completion in singleness, that is a very happy state indeed! Reply

Rox PA, USA September 8, 2009

Envious I'd like to add that I am so envious of people, especially women, who know they belong in this particular little box, and drop everything to convert. They know where they belong, they feel comfortable with the biology they're given, and they feel comfortable potentially marrying someone SOLELY for the mitzvah of having physical children (which many believe and do, please don't say this isn't true.). I know it's a mitzvah for men to do this, and that's great, those aren't my rules...but to me it's so sadly shallow to spend 50+ years of your life knowing that this is THE reason you got married in the first place. I'm very envious of people who know where they belong. This is a very confusing and painful topic for me. Reply

Rox Pottsville, PA September 1, 2009

Science I am very confused, because so many seem more married to their children than to their spouses. Birth control is not permitted in Orthodox Judaism, niddah is built around the female's fertile period, and isn't there a mitzvah to divorce your spouse after ten years of not producing physical children?? And it's even written about Michal that she died without children, as if that's the sum total of her life.
I ask this because though I love Judaism, I am struggling with the Jewish idea of marriage. I have been volutarily surgically sterilized at 27 (before I ever knew anything Judaic) but I do NOT regret it. To me it is more than offensive to have so many Torah teachers tell me on one hand, a woman is "unfulfilled" if she doesn't have physical children..and a man isn't really "amazed" until he sees how she takes care of the children....but remember, the point of marriage isn't children!
I don't disagree with R' Freidman at all, in fact, I do agree. I just don't see very much of it. Reply

Jessica Roller Carmel, NY/USA August 28, 2009

1st time listening to u Thank you. U r so well spoken and interesting. I enjoyed listening to u. Reply

Anonymous Woodridge, NY August 28, 2009

Marrying young and growing apart.. If you marry young and than after 15yrs realize or shall I say have this urge within that their is something (spiritual) or someone (soul-mate) other than the one you married or had children with, out there for you. Thus, you both have grown apart and see everything in life so differently. Does that mean you are not meant to be married with that person anymore? If you were meant to be, married and had children, why after so many years would you grow apart? especially that the connection you talk about was there in the begining; at the age of 15 and now at the age of earily 30's I feel so empty..But yet, there is this Urge, this gravitational pull sort to say.. Reply

Anonymous cleveland, Ohio August 24, 2009

the romance of attraction video Bravo! Reply

Leslie Dallas, TX August 23, 2009

So lovely to hear As woman who has been single for 26 years and survived several relationships that were not husband and wife, but merely man and woman, I can hear exactly what you are saying. It is what I've said to others, what my heart has yearned for, that completion, but alas, our secular culture does not encourage the sacred bond, not really. Our secular culture encourages selfishness, not true unity. Thanks for encouraging the yearning in my heart, Rabbi! Reply

maria taissa lewkowicz e fernando málaga rio de janeiro, brasil August 23, 2009

very good i apreciate so much the video Reply

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