I recently found out I was about four weeks pregnant and I do not want to have another child. I am mentally, physically and emotionally worn out. I am choosing to end this early pregnancy because I am quite certain I do not want any more children. I feel complete, and grateful for the beautiful family I do have. I made the choice to have one more, I had that one, and that was final. I stick by that decision. Am I sinning by ending this pregnancy in the early stages according to Jewish law? Does G‑d forgive this?


Please excuse my delay in responding. Your question is urgent, but it is difficult to respond. Having partnered with my wife in bringing eight beautiful children into the world, I can well feel the struggle you are going through now.

And yet, I know that there is nothing more precious to me in all the world than each of those children. Each is a jewel for which I would scale mountains and fight armies to rescue; each one makes my entire life worth living. I watch each one grow with delight and pride, especially in that first, most miraculous year. Yes, there are storms to weather, sleepless nights and the agony that comes along with every ecstasy. But G‑d has not given me anything more precious than the privilege to bring these people I love so much into the world.

You made a decision, and G‑d knows your pain and fatigue even more than you yourself. And yet, as much as He loves and cares for you—and truly because of that love—He has seen fit to grant you another precious treasure. If it is worth such pain, it must be a precious package indeed.

You need to get outside help. It doesn't matter what the cost—that's His business. He gives you the children, He will have to pay those bills. But don't destroy this neshama granted into your care, for its sake and for your own. Instead, cherish it, cherish the privilege you are given. You will never look back, and in years from now, you will have the nachas of holding the children of that child on your lap. Live with that vision, and take life with a few more ounces of joy.

If there is any other way I can be of help, please write.


-- Rabbi Tzvi Freeman

-- Interactivity-With-People Team