Question:

I've always had a problem with faith. I try to go to shul. I learn Torah. But after a while, I always get depressed because I just lose my faith that this is all real. I desperately try to regain my faith all the time but to no avail. Please help me.

Response:

There is a story told about a Chassid who came to his Rebbe because he was plagued by doubts in his faith.

The Rebbe responded nonchalantly, "So what?"

"But Rebbe, I am a Jew!" replied the shocked Chassid.

"If so, all is well," was the reply.

Meaning that if a Jew is bothered by his apparent inconsistent faith, or by his doubts, the truth is that he really has no doubts at all. The fact that he is bothered serves to prove that he believes fully, though he may not have allowed his faith to become internalized fully within his psyche.

I think that the same can be said for you. What you need to do is to find an intellectual framework that can allow you to internalize your faith, to make it yours for good. The best way I know to achieve this is through the study of Chassidus. If Talmud and Halacha is the body of Judaism, Chassidus presents the soul of Judaism. Just like with a person, once you understand the soul, everything the body does begins to make sense.

If you tell me where you live, I can help you locate a local class in Chassidus. Alternatively, you can sign up at JNet.org for a free weekly study partner over the phone, with whom you can study and discuss all questions and issues related to your faith.

Let me know which one you prefer. Take heart, B - you are far from being lost.