I want to convert to Judaism but I have a non-Jewish boyfriend...

Gift or test? Could the non-jewish boyfriend be a test from G-d instead of a gift from G-d? In order to test the "jewishness" of the lady who wants to "convert"? Reply

why is it so hard to convert to Judaism? seems like all other religions are relatively easy... exam etc etc???? Reply

There's no mitzvah for non-Jews to become Jewish In contrast to nearly every other religion that has existed, Judaism does not proselytize. The notion is that there are many unique parts to the universe, each with their own unique role and function towards the ultimate mission of reveaing G-dliness in the world cultimating in the revealation of the messiah. G-d created humankind in general to keep the 7 Noachide laws to make the world into a civilized place where it is even possible for G-dliness to be revealed in it. Jews were "chosen" among all other nations to perform the specialized tasks of the 613 mitzvot. Only Jews are required to observe these commandments. This can be readily understood through an analogy: one may have two different children who each have their own unique talents and gifts. It would be quite improper for one to demand exactly the same things in the many aspects of their life. Rather one should utilize each child's distinct abilities in the most efficient way. One can easily apply this to Jews and non-Jews. Reply

Why would anyone want to become Jewish, anyway? It's a hard life. Christians think that the Jews are G-d's chosen, meaning we think we are better than they are. So, naturally, they want to be a part of G-d's original family, instead of the "branch" that is "grafted in". Someone who WANTS to take upon themselves the letter of the law in the Torah usually would NOT want to be around people who talk BADLY about us on Easter, etc. Strange. Reply

What a great answer! The answer truly exemplifies how Judaism is a serious thing that demands wholehearted commitment, and not just a convenient social tag so one can join a synagogue. If one truly believes in something they should aspire to pursue it in its entirety.
It is unfortunate how many view a "conversion" through a reform or conservative as viable. More often than not they cause much more grief and suffering as the person pursues Judaism more and discovers they are not accepted as a Jew outside of reform and conservative circles. Reply

What a bad answer! This girl should go to a REFORM, less Orthodox place like a Jewish "Temple", such as Temple Beth El, etc., where the rules aren't as strict and where you can still convert. She doesn't have to make a choice IF HER BOYFRIEND is on board with her decision. Why create dissension in a relationship? Again, it all depends if he is on board. She won't be able to convert into an ORTHODOX synagogue or Chabad if she MARRIES her boyfriend. Reply

from a teacher i teach too many interfaith children who are too confused. it has made me very bias toward interfaith marriage. i think it is the worst thing to do to children and to the Jewish faith. i am a convert. i was dating a non jew when i converted. i am not with him anymore. he was the last non jew i dated.
my SO now is jewish, not an observant jew but jewish. i have made him a bit more observant and i have made him love who he is by wanting to be the same.
my children will be jewish from both their mother and father. they will wear tzitzit and wrap tifilin.
all the matriarchs were converts. back then there were no "conversion" rules but there are now and i respect them and welcome them. people must truely want this. and its worth it all the way.
i agree with those who say religion first and love will follow it has worked for me. i am reminded of this everyday i spend with my boyfriend and everyday i spend teaching Torah and Hebrew. Reply

Ralph, a question(s) for you: How does a married couple never discuss Politics, Religion, and sex?

Answer: If they are already of the same mind on these matters.

The only other way is if they leave these things outside of their marriage.

That's possible with politics; but religion and sex???!!!

Without religion and sex what does bind a married couple?

Wait a moment, before you say love is the answer, ask yourself this:

What about all the marriages that started with love that didn't stand the test of time?

The fact is most intermarriages don't make it.

Ralph, do you know how observant ('Orthodox') Jews approach marriage?

Perhaps, Mrs. Shaffer will enlighten us by saying a few words about it here.

Observant Jews consistently are numbered among those who have the lowest divorce rate in the world.

There are good reasons for that. Reply

Hello Again Thomas Thomas quite honestly there is an old saying perhaps you may have heard. There are three topics folks should never discuss Politics, Religion & sex. I totally hear what you have said in the past and what you are saying now. Faith & Love of G-d is not even in the same ballpark as loving someone. I suppose I am more liberal on interfaith marriage since I have friends where the husband is christian and the mother jewish. The children are raised Jewish and actually one of them just had his Bar Mitzvah. They are Jewish, but read up on christianity as well. I think if you keep your religion and you marry of a different faith, you must keep your religion close to your heart and let G-d interven to sort the rest out. we have differemces Thomas, but I respect you and the ground you stand firm on. Iif nothing else G-d did bring to people of different faiths together to discuss and become online friends I hope. G-d works in mysterious ways. Much Peace, Love & Happiness to you. Reply

So what about Abraham? Wasn't Abraham already married when he converted? Any record of Sarah's conversion in the Torah?

Did G-d not accept his commitment through the Brit? How is it the Beth Din does not accept the same commitment?

I would love to convert to Judaism. I am married to a non-Jewish girl and we have three lovely children.

Does G-d really demand me to divorce my wife and leave my children in disarray rather than accept my act of belief in the Brit? Or do I just accept conversion is not an option if my wife doe not wish to convert?

What was good enough for Abraham, seems good enough for me! Reply

To Ralph (again) Ralph, you said-

"If you can discard your faith that easily then you couldn't be very religious to begin with."

I respectfully agree with that.

I could have put it more tastefully and tactfully by simply stating that there is a difference between being in love with someone and sharing the same faith with them:

If you make a lifetime commitment to someone, how do you do that without also sharing their faith? How do you have a marriage then without a commonly held faith?

Many intermarriages try for this by foregoing the question of faith altogether. Some of these marriages work, but most of them end up in divorce court.

Might you agree in turn that it's often better to have been 'religious to begin with'; and that that is different, very different, then just marrying someone you've fallen in love and then hoping that G-d will sort out the differences from there? Reply

To ralph Ralph, worshipping J---- as G-d is not Judaism. There is actually very little Torah in the 'greek testament' (new testament); and the origins of Christianity, for the most part, are not Jewish. Trying to mix the two is really like trying to mix oil and water.

There are those who intermarry who happen to make a go of it, but the odds are against it. Generally speaking, only a commonly held faith and/or belief system supports long term relationships like marriage.

The kids of intermarriage usually end up with no faith affiliation at all.

Even if the mother is Jewish, the kids, more times then not, will identify with the faith of the father (if any), and they will fall away.

Wasn't it your 'Paul' who wrote that 'G-d is a respector of no man'?

So much so is that also true for love.

You put a commonly held faith first: That is the basis for respect between spouses.

Love follows after that.

I didn't mean to offend by it though. Sorry, Ralph; and-

Shalom. Reply

To Thomas & Andy I worship One G-d. No flase idols just G-d. With respects to bith religions being discarded, if you can discard your religion that easily then you couldn;t be very religious to begin with. I am also aware of our religions being profoundly different. And when I made my comments perhpas it wasnt clear, what I meant was exactly what you wrote, we all don;t have to be of the same faith. Personally it seems you went on the defensive. The point of my comment is let G-d guide your destiny snf no matter Jewish, Catholic, Black, White whatever love G-d love your fellow man what ever religious denomonation they may be. But above all respect each other.

And Andy, Much Peace and Love to you and your family . You point is well taken. At least you gave me the respecty and replied tastefully and tactfully. And no matter what religion I am or may be in the future one point I would like to get across. Jews the chosen people and I in my heart feel that Judaism is the one true religion Reply

also to 'ralph of brooklyn' ! you're kinda right about 'one true G-d' notes ... but only in a 'new-agey', 'new-thought' sort of way. But classical catholic/xtian doctrine is not really "one G-d" ... it's way different. Yes sure they have similar roots, but they had different 'audiences' in mind IMHO.

But! I agree with you that xtian, Jewish etc can realsonably claim one unified G-d. as they should! But it is not classical xtianity, it is new-ageish (nothing wrong with that).

peace and love! Reply

To Ralph of Brooklyn Which of your g-ds do you consider to be the 'one true G-d' to which Israel worships?

Perhaps Donny of Crestview can explain to you the noahide law against idolatry.

Sorry, Ralph, but the reality is that intermarriages between Jews and Christians are usually based on the fundaments of both faiths being discarded.

Not only am I sure that Judaism and Christianity are two profoundly different faiths, but they will never unite.

We don't all have to be of the same faith.

We need to accept our differences in that regard. Reply

I want to Convert but my Boyfriens is a non-jew Being a non-Jew and loving every minute of learning the Jewish faith, I'd like to make a comment. Be you of Jewish or Christian faith we pray to one true G-d, the creator of us all. Being Catholic I know my religion would noit exisit with out Judaism. We read from the same scriptures and Bible texts and he is the same G-d. Yes our tradition is very different but our G-d is the same one true G-d. I am proud that my fathers mother was 100% of the jewish faith and proud of my Catholic faith. One should not choose either side. one should choose only one thing... To Love G-d embrace him and learn to let him into your life. Date your boyfriend, let him be who G-d has choosen him to be and let G-d determine who you are destined to be. Never give up religiously who you are but rather put G-d in the drivers seat and I bet we will all be amazed on how he handles it. One last thing on a personal note, I have the utmost respect for the Jewish faith and the Chasidism that adhere to G-ds law. Reply

As a person who once almost converted to judaism, and studying Chabad no less, you don't need to be jewish to be happy, or to be accepted by G-d. Being jewish really is the hardest thing you can start... Be happy for who you are, don't hate yourself, that's not God's intentions. Reply

I want to convert to Judaism but I have a non-Jewi I truly believe that G-D will send you a wonderful Jewish man when you place Him first in your life.

There is no other blessing as wonderful as finding the right Jewish man to share your new Jewish life with!

Blessings to you dear one. :) Reply

Take the Plunge If you are a truly Jewish on the inside then take the plunge. I don't agree with exploring your relationship with your boyfriend, if you have a Yiddishe Neshama, a Jewish soul, and you're one of those few who have been lost along the way to another religion in a previous incarnation, yes we believe in that, then your Judaism has to come first. If you're Jewish inside, be a Jew. You have these callings for a reason and I highly doubt it's just to examine your life as a better gentile. Search your soul, you'll know what's right. Reply

I Made The Decision Wow, it's nice to finally hear of someone that is in the same situation I was in not too long ago. I come from a family where judaism is on my fathers side and not my mothers, all my life I was drawn to it and studied it and decided to officially convert, but I was in the middle of a four year relationship with someone I loved very much and still do. But I chose Judaism over him and ended the relationship because I knew it would bring joy and peace to my life and allow me to be free in a way. It was extremely difficult and painful for months and months, but overall it was the right decision for me. Just follow your guts and trust your heart, do what makes you happy and never feel bad for what you chose, G-d loves each one of us. Good Luck Reply