Divorce is never something people look forward to. But when it becomes necessary, the Torah provides clear guidelines for how it should be done. Read on for 10 facts about divorce in Judaism.
1. It’s a Mitzvah
Surprisingly, divorce is one of the 613 mitzvahs, recorded in Parshat Ki Teitzei.1 But unlike mitzvahs like Shabbat, tefillin, and kosher, which we seek to fulfill, there is no imperative to divorce under normal circumstances. Rather, In the event that a couple must divorce, they must do so through a specific process as outlined in Jewish law.
2. It’s Done With a Get
Jewish law requires a divorce to be carried out through a special bill of divorce called a get—an Aramaic word meaning “document.” Interestingly, some point out that the two Hebrew letters that make up the word get—gimmel and tet—never appear alongside each other in the Torah. This hints at the separation that the get brings between husband and wife.2
3. Consent Must Be Mutual
According to the Torah, it is the husband who divorces his wife by giving her a get, not the other way around. Originally, her consent wasn’t required for the divorce to happen. This changed approximately 1,000 years ago, when the noted Torah scholar and leader of the emerging Ashkenazi community, Rabbeinu Gershom (known as “the Light of the Diaspora”), instituted that a man may not divorce his wife without her consent.3
4. It’s Needed for Future Marriage
In Jewish law, neither the husband nor the wife may remarry until a get is given.4 This is true even if they’ve already had a civil divorce. Marrying again without a get can lead to serious complications, especially for children born from the new union, who may be considered mamzerim. (For an excellent novel portraying this stark reality, the writer of this column highly recommends Yesterday’s Child by Ruth Benjamin.)
Read: What Is a Mamazer?
5. The Get Is Written in Aramaic
Aramaic was the main spoken language of Jews for much of our history. Additionally, it’s the language used in many Jewish legal documents, including the get (and the ketubah, the marriage contract). Since Talmudic times, rabbis have carefully fine-tuned its exact formula, ensuring each word is precise.5
Read: Text of the Get
6. A Rabbinical Court Oversees the Process
Giving a get isn’t simple—it’s a complex procedure with many detailed laws. That’s why it’s done in front of a beit din, a Jewish court made up of qualified rabbis who ensure that everything is done properly.
Read: What Is a Beit Din?
7. There’s a Whole Tractate About It
Jewish law covers a lot about how a get is written and delivered, and about divorce in general. In fact, there’s an entire tractate of the Talmud called Gittin that’s dedicated to this topic. The sages of the Talmud remind us that divorce should never be taken lightly. The tractate ends with a telling statement: “When someone divorces his first wife, even the altar sheds tears for him.”6
8. Agunot Are “Chained” Women
Sadly, throughout Jewish history, there have been many cases of agunot—women who couldn’t remarry because their husbands disappeared or refused to give them a get. Rabbis have always tried their best to help these women, either by finding proof the husband died or by pressuring him to give a get. Unfortunately, this issue still exists today.
Read: The Agunah
9. A Divorcee Can’t Marry a Kohen
Once a woman receives a get, she is free to marry whomever she chooses—except for a Kohen (a man descended from Aaron the High Priest). A Kohen must follow certain marriage rules: he may not marry a divorcee, a convertess, and certain others.7
Read: Kohen Marriages
10. The Prophets Used Divorce as a Metaphor
The relationship between G‑d and the Jewish people is often likened to that of a husband and wife. The Talmud tells of a conversation between the prophet Ezekiel and the Jewish people. When Ezekiel urged them to repent, they pointed out that Jerusalem had just been conquered, saying, “If a master has sold his slave, or a husband has divorced his wife, can either have complaints against the other?” But G‑d’s answer was, “Where is the bill of divorce with which I sent away your mother? And who is the creditor to whom I sold you?”8 In other words, G‑d never actually divorced the Jewish people—we will always remain His beloved.
Now take our Jewish Divorce Quiz
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