As someone who has struggled with mental health and my own journey to recovery, along with hospital admissions and suicidality, I’ve been inspired by this article on Chabad.org to reflect on what actually helps when supporting someone with mental health struggles.

I'm not a mental health expert and make no claims to having all the answers. But these are the things that have helped me and made it a little easier for me to keep going. I'm sharing this in case anyone else is trying to figure out how to help a friend who is in the hospital or in despair over their mental health.

Inquire About Pastimes and Habits

Ask about the neutral things in their lives, such as what they're reading, listening to, or playing.

When you’re having a hard time, distractions are more than simply distractions. They are the comfort that gets you over the line when you need to hold on. They're tools to get through, to keep going. And it can be fun to talk about them with others. My doctor would always tell me, “Just take it day by day.” Telling a friend what podcasts you've been binging and inquiring as to their own habits can be a great way to open a dialogue.

Share Your Own Struggles and Strategies

Tell them about your own experience with mental health.

In today's stressed, digital world, maintaining healthy boundaries and relationships is hard for everyone. We don't live in villages or interwoven communities and are mostly enmeshed with digital interaction, with less need for face-to-face contact. At all times. We are so constantly plugged in. I've found most people have developed coping strategies to stay present and emotionally healthy. If you have a way to destress, share it with your struggling friend, because this universalizes the experience. Maintaining good mental health as an adult is a challenge for everyone, and we can all benefit from hearing others' wins.

Visit Them Where They Are

You absolutely should visit them in the hospital.

I can hear your worry … it can be daunting to visit a person in a psych ward. Maybe they're embarrassed? Maybe they don't want me to see them? Maybe it'll be weird? Will they even be allowed their phone? Or visitors?

From my experience, most hospitals and inpatient mental health settings legally must offer some access to the outside world. Patients can either have a visitor on the ward, be permitted brief escorted leave to speak to a visitor, or have a hand-off place where they can briefly meet a visitor to exchange items or receive a gift. It's really lonely in a psych ward. I'm sure your loved one would be delighted to see you, if only for a short time.

Help Them Connect

I've been in the hospital over Shabbat, High Holidays, and Passover. Observing these festivals alone is challenging. When my non-Jewish doctors and nurses made enormous efforts to understand my religious needs, it showed they accepted all of me, including my spirituality. Chabad teachings emphasize that a Jew is never alone. There are Jewish bikur cholim organizations that can show up in times of need, including mental health crises. Healing the soul is a part of healing the body. Make sure your friends have access to these services.

Be Present in the Details

My friends know the names of my doctor and therapists, the rooms I like on the ward, my favorite coping strategies, and helpful non-clinical supports—like places I visit and neighbors I can call on. My recovery is a little village, with welcoming recovery spaces, helpful professionals, and loving friends. Just ask me. I'd love for you to visit there.