Together with more than a dozen fellow Chabad leaders from Long Island, I just paid a shivah visit to the Neutra family, who had been advocating, praying, and working around the clock for more than 400 days, hoping against hope to bring their beloved Omer home from Gaza.
Alas, this week, they received the news that Omer had been killed on Oct. 7. Omer, a native of Long Island, who was 21 at the time of his death, served as a tank platoon commander in the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) and fell in battle near Nir Oz. His body is still in Gaza.
Omer’s parents, Orna and Ronen, have been a powerful force for unity and a source of inspiration both here on Long Island and around the world. As you might expect, the shivah reflected the way they chose to conduct themselves during the horrible ordeal they have been going through for over a year.
The shivah was held in a synagogue, since a private home would not have enough space to accommodate the crowds that were expected to come each day.
It was clear that this was not just the Nuetras’ personal tragedy, but one shared by the entire Jewish community, and it took a staff of ushers to keep the crowds of tens of thousands moving over the course of the few days that they were here.
In many ways, the Neutra family has become the face of our community. The face of the American Jewish community. Their hopes were our hopes, their sorrow is our sorrow, and their shivah has become our shivah.
As I approached the building, a thought came to mind. When we console mourners, we connect it to our nation’s mourning for the destruction of the Temple some 1,950 years ago. The Rebbe explains that just like all Jewish people mourn for the Temple, with every Jewish death the whole nation mourns. When it comes to the death of Omer, we see this clearly. The repercussions of his life, and his death, are reverberating throughout Long Island, and indeed, around the globe.
As representatives of Chabad communities all over Long Island, we were invited to come a few minutes before the doors opened, giving us a few minutes alone with the Neutra family.
As we met them, the first thing that struck us was their t-shirts, which were emblazoned with Omer’s picture and the call to “Bring Them Home Now.”
What could we possibly tell them, a family of heroes, who have stood, and are still standing, so strong?
One of the rabbis shared the following anecdote:
After the Six-Day War, a soldier returned home from the front lines exhausted. When his mother hugged and kissed him, she asked, “What is this kippah on your head?” He politely said he must go to sleep. When he awoke, his parents could see that he was not eating and asked why. He told them that during the war he became very close with a Torah-observant soldier. They fought side by side and a bond was created. He saw his friend’s excitement as they approached the liberation of the Kotel in the Old City, while he himself did not recognize the historic nature of this battle. And then, his friend was shot dead by his side. At that moment, he took off his friend’s kippah and promised: “Your kippah will be my kippah, your kosher will be my kosher, and your Shabbat will be my Shabbat.”
We, the Jewish people, say the same thing to Omer. In fact, the Chabad rabbis and rebbetzins of Long Island are working on a campaign, which the Neutras have endorsed, to encourage every Jewish woman to light Shabbat candles at the proper time this Friday.
Fittingly, Omer’s parents shared with us how Omer was a connector who brought people together. One of his final speeches was to students that he was leading, in which he shared that when you are in a room with many people, seek out the kid sitting on the periphery and draw them in, even if it comes at the expense of spending time with your own friends.
That’s what a leader does, that is what Omer did, and that is what his parents have been doing.
During this past year, they have done a lot to bring together different parts of Israeli society. Even their shivah reflected this ethos, with the mourning beginning here in Long Island and finishing in Israel, bridging the Jews of the Diaspora with those in the Holy Land.
By the time we left, hundreds of people were streaming toward the synagogue, buses were pulling up, and queues were forming. Omer was a unifier of the Jewish people, and it is most appropriate that his shivah united all Jews.
May G‑d comfort the Neutra family among all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
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