In these times, when Jews and Jewish values are threatened in public spaces across America, it has unfortunately spilled over into high- and even middle-school classrooms. Jewish parents sending their children to public schools (and often private schools as well) cannot be there to protect them from every nasty remark or sanctimonious staff member—including well-meaning but uninformed individuals. But they can do a lot to inoculate them and supply them with the knowledge and strength they need.

Here are some tips that I’ve gleaned from my work, which I trust you’ll find useful as well.

  • Don’t Go Alone. Coordinate with the leaders of Cteen or whichever Jewish clubs exist in or around your child’s school—including Hebrew instructors at the school. If they are not already, get your children involved in these clubs. In addition to providing crucial information, Jewish youth groups will give you the vital camaraderie, support, and knowledge that you and your child are truly not alone in your struggle. If there is no such organization in your area, now is the time to speak to your local Chabad rabbi and get the ball rolling.
  • Provide Meaningful Judaism. Now more than ever, your children need every bit of Jewish inspiration and positivity they can get. Be sure to celebrate Shabbat, do mitzvahs, study Torah, both in and outside of home, so that your child learns to love the Jewish identity for which they are now being attacked. If you want your child to cherish and find meaning in their Jewish heritage, they need to positively engage with it!
  • Open Channels of Communication. There was a time when we tried—perhaps unsuccessfully—to shield children from disturbing information. In today’s online world, kids are consuming news—both real and fake—faster and more frequently than we are. If we cannot protect them from it, we can help them make sense of it. Talk to your kids about what’s going on in Israel and around the world, offer context and facts, and keep checking in, so that when something comes up, they’ll see you as a reliable and non-judgemental source of truth. This will give them the knowledge they need to remain confident in their understanding of Israel and its right to self-defense.
  • Documenting Gives You Options. It’s natural and normal for students to avoid calling attention to themselves. At the same time, it’s important to have a record of what’s being done. So if a staff member or fellow student is acting inappropriately or threateningly, your child should be sure to record it on their phone (when allowed by school rules) or otherwise document the incident in writing and share it with you. This includes screenshots or even photographs of social media posts. You can then decide together whether you wish to ignore it, send a quiet email to the appropriate faculty member, or go public about what’s happening. When in doubt, err on the side of documenting. Having things on official school records can be very useful down the road and even protect other children in the future.
  • Establish Connections in the School. You do not want your first phone call or email to the school administration to be a complaint. Reach out as early as possible, introduce yourself, and establish a good relationship with the school leadership and officials.
  • Exercise Your Jewish Confidence. Jewish people have a right to exist—even in public schools. Without placing themselves in dangerous situations, encourage your child to be as proud of their Jewish identity and observance as they were until now—and even more so.
  • Ask to Keep All Conflict Out of School. You cannot expect your school to become pro-Israel, but you can expect them to be a safe place where all conflict is kept out. When speaking to school administrators, be very clear that you are not asking anyone to take a side—only asking that your child be provided a safe haven where learning can take place.
  • Treat Others How You Wish to Be Treated. There may be other children in school for whom this conflict is personal from the opposite perspective. Make sure your child knows to accord those children the dignity and respect they also deserve.
  • Do Not Buy Into the “Free Speech” Argument. According to the lawyer we consulted, not all speech or expression is allowed on school campuses. We all know that a school has the right to restrict a Confederate flag, for example. Likewise, many symbols surrounding the current conflict in Israel are clearly outside the pale of protected speech in school. If a teacher wears a lapel pin or uses words that make your child uncomfortable, document it and share it with local leaders and school officials as you see fit.
  • Don’t Forget the Truth. The drumbeat of misinformation is so steady in some places that it’s hard not to be inundated. Speak to your child often and remind them of the simple truths that seemed so obvious just a few months ago. The Jewish people’s right to the Holy Land was granted to them by G‑d Himself, Jews have a right to defend themselves, and good will always outlast evil.
  • Join the Hebrew Class. If your child’s school offers Hebrew-language instruction, have them sign up. It is a built-in safe space where they can connect with children who share their experiences.
  • Consider a Jewish School. Your child may be in public school for any number of reasons. However, if you have a Jewish option in your area, consider the events of the past few months as one more factor that may steer you toward transferring to a Jewish school. Neither you nor your child will regret it.