What If You Are Alcohol-Free for Kiddush, Havdalah, and the Four Cups of Wine?

Wine holds a significant place in Jewish rituals like Kiddush, Havdalah and the Passover Seder, symbolizing joy, holiness and sanctity. In each of these rituals, we lift our brimming glasses, say prayers or blessings, and drink.

But what if wine or grape juice isn't an option for you—whether due to health reasons, allergies, or personal preference? This includes those with a history of addiction, for whom any amount of alcohol is off-limits. Fortunately, Jewish law provides alternatives, ensuring everyone can fully participate without feeling pressured.

Before exploring the alternatives, let’s get a few things straight:

• While wine is ideal, grape juice is a valid substitute. If the issue is alcohol, grape juice is a simple and effective solution.1
• For Kiddush and Havdalah, you don’t necessarily have to drink the wine yourself. You can fulfill your obligation by listening to someone else recite the blessings if they are equally obligated.2 If you must recite Kiddush or Havdalah (because no one else can), someone else can drink the wine or grape juice on your behalf.3

However, this workaround doesn’t apply to the four cups of wine at the Passover Seder, where each person must drink their own cups. There may also be times when neither wine nor grape juice is an option, and no one else is available to help.

So, what are the alternatives?

Nighttime Kiddush (Shabbat and Holidays):

If wine and grape juice aren’t available, the next best option is to say Kiddush over challah or matzah.4 Here’s how:

1. Wash your hands and say the blessing, Al Netilat Yadayim.
2. Recite Kiddush over two loaves of bread. Instead of saying “borei pri hagafen,” say “hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz.”
3. Then, cut, salt, and eat the challah.
   

If bread isn’t an option (e.g., due to gluten intolerance), you can use chamar medinah—a “significant” drink in your culture that’s served to guests, similar to wine.5 The preferred options are:6

1. First Choice: Alcoholic beverages like beer or liquor.
2. Next Choice: Tea or coffee.
3. Last Resort: Pure, natural fruit juice, though there is some debate over its use. (Soft drinks should not be used, as they are too similar to water).

In all these cases, replace the Hagafen blessing with Shehakol.

Daytime Kiddush and Havdalah:

Unlike nighttime Kiddush, daytime Kiddush and Havdalah are not made over bread. Follow the beverage order mentioned above.

Passover Seder:

The Passover Seder presents a unique challenge for those who cannot have wine or grape juice. Unlike Kiddush on Shabbat or holidays, where someone else can drink on your behalf, each person must drink their own four cups in a way that reflects freedom.

Even if you dislike wine or find it mildly uncomfortable, the obligation still stands to drink the four cups. The sages7 recount that Rabbi Yehudah, son of Rabbi Ila’i, drank the four cups despite the discomfort it caused him.8

If the issue is mild discomfort or dislike, try to push through and at least drink grape juice. Remember, a small cup that contains a reviit (2.9 oz.) of wine or grape juice is enough, and you only need to drink the majority of it.9 You can also, in some instances, dilute it with water or juice, provided that there’s enough wine (or grape juice) to say the Hagafen blessing.10

However, if the situation is more serious, consult your rabbi. In some cases, kosher-for-Passover chamar medinah (as listed above) can be used as a substitute for the four cups at the Passover Seder.11