The 15th of Av is perhaps the most enigmatic day on the Jewish calendar. Coming a mere 6 days after the 9th of Av—which marks the destruction of the First and Second Holy Temples—it is a day of happiness and rejoicing. “There were no days as joyous for the Jewish people as the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur,” the Mishnah declares. On this day “the maidens of Jerusalem would go out and dance in the vineyards. And what would they say? Young man, please lift up your eyes and see what you choose for yourself.”1
In fact, a total of seven joyous events occurred on this date. Here we present six teachings from the Lubavitcher Rebbe that pertain to the themes of this day.
What Is Beauty?
The last Mishnah in Masechet Taanit (quoted above) describes how the dancing maidens of Jerusalem would call to their prospective matches, “Young man, lift up your eyes and see what you choose for yourself. Do not set your eyes toward beauty, but set your eyes toward a [good] family.” The Rebbe understands that this event—which according to some readings occurred both on the 15th of Av and on Yom Kippur—is referencing something of a lofty nature, not a simple matchmaking event. In the Rebbe’s reading, this event was to showcase not the physical or even spiritual qualities that individuals may possess, but the innate spiritual character we all possess as members of one family, the Nation of Israel:
One should not look at virtues (both spiritual and physical) as they appear to the eye—which is the usual manner [one would judge another.] Rather, one should “lift up your eyes and see” (referencing Isaiah 40:26, “Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who has created these things”) with a higher and more inward gaze—to see the root and source from which these virtues stem.
Given that she is the daughter of Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, and Leah, she inherently possesses the Jewish virtues passed down from her mothers.2
Descent for the Purpose of Ascent
In a letter dated 15 Av, 5725 (August 13, 1965) the Rebbe commented on the significance of this joyous day coming so closely after the 9th of Av:
Coming so soon after Tisha b’Av, the radical transition from a mood of sadness to that of joy is doubly significant. Firstly, it signifies that any sad interlude in Jewish life is only transitory and is based on the principle of “descent for the purpose of ascent.” In other words, any and all sad events in our history—which are commemorated on the few sad days on our calendar—are backward steps necessary for a greater leap forward.
Secondly, the very transition from sadness to gladness intensifies the joy, and adds real quality to it, which could not be appreciated otherwise.
To Cleave as One
In the context of explaining the wording of a section of Maimonides’ Mishneh Torah, the Rebbe articulated the essential tenets of marriage:
The essence and definition of marriage are, in the words of the verse, “and he clung to his wife, and they became one flesh,”3 a constant state of acquisition and attachment, without any element that leads or causes interruption.
However, when the acquisition and substance of the marriage are such that there is an element contrary to “attachment,” either at the beginning of the marriage or after some time, this constitutes a deficiency in the essence of the marriage itself.4
Life In the Garden of Eden
The Rebbe posed a question about the phrasing of the sixth of the seven blessings recited at the marriage ceremony:
[Why is] the wording of the marriage blessing, “ … Who creates joy for Your creation in the Garden of Eden from the beginning” (meaning, G‑d should make the young couple happy, as He made His first humans joyful in the Garden of Eden)? What do the words “from the beginning” signify? We all know that Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden was many years ago!
[The answer is that the phrase] “from the beginning” refers specifically to their time in the Garden of Eden, at the very onset—before the sin. And this is what we wish for the young couple: that their life should be in the manner of Adam and Eve before the sin. There should not be any opposition, but on the contrary, a “helper,” and the house should conduct itself in a manner of “I will dwell among them”—“Who creates joy for Your creation in the Garden of Eden from the beginning.”5
Life’s Mission
While discussing the parameters of the Biblical obligation to erect a fence surrounding the roof of a new home, the Rebbe drew a lesson for our spiritual abode:
It’s crucial to appreciate the profound impact of marital life. The act of marriage for every Jew holds profound significance, both in the individual lives of the couple and in a transcendent spiritual sense. This is the point when a person embarks on their fundamental mission of creating a sanctuary for G‑d within the earthly domain. This process brings forth a novel Divine illumination.
However, we must also be aware of the fact that this new stage of life brings unique challenges. Consequently, it is essential to establish a metaphorical fence around this novel structure: one should adopt additional safeguards and disciplines to protect and maintain this new dwelling.6
The Wedding Canopy
The Rebbe explained the deeper meaning of the custom for the bride to circle the groom under the chuppah:
The bride’s act of circling the groom embodies her overarching capacity to contribute to the marriage. It signifies her devotion, rooted in her encompassing qualities, to establish a Jewish home based on the principles of the Torah and mitzvot.
When the groom presents the ring to the bride, it symbolizes his own encompassing capacity to contribute to their shared life together. He, too, commits to building a Jewish home, anchored in the foundations of Torah and mitzvot.
Together, the couple’s complementary capacities are enveloped by the wedding canopy, which represents the Divine, transcendent capacity bestowed upon them by G‑d. This Divine gift elevates their combined capabilities, enabling them to create a lasting and fruitful union.7
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