In Judaism, when the wedding is over, the party is just getting started. That’s because the following six days have their own celebrations, known as the Sheva Brachot (“seven blessings”), since seven blessings are said in honor of the bride and groom.

Sheva Brachot celebrations are often hosted by family or friends, and can range from a casual barbeque to a formal dinner.

If you’ve been invited to a Sheva Brachot and are not sure what to expect, continue here. And if you wish to learn more about the halachic details pertaining to these celebrations, read on.

The Basics

How did Sheva Brachot start?

The custom of celebrating a wedding for seven days was established by Moses1 and can be traced back to our forefather Jacob, who celebrated for seven days between the marriages of Leah and Rachel.2

What are the basic criteria that must be in place for Sheva Brachot to be said?

  • A meal is hosted in honor of the bride and groom within seven days of their wedding.
  • Either the bride or groom is getting married for the first time.
  • At least ten adult Jewish men are present.
  • Bread is served, so participants can say the Birkat Hamazon.
  • There is a “new face” present—someone who hasn’t attended the wedding feast nor any of the previous Sheva Brachot parties in honor of the couple.

The Time

Is there a requirement to have Sheva Brachot?

While there is technically no obligation to hold Sheva Brachot throughout the seven days,3 it is praiseworthy to do so (assuming it does not cause undue stress or financial pressures).4 Even simple, cost-effective gatherings that meet the criteria are a joyous way to observe this special mitzvah.5

How do we calculate the seven days of Sheva Berachot?

Sheva Brachot are held for seven days, counting from the time the chuppah was held. For example, if the chuppah took place on Wednesday afternoon (even if the wedding feast was after nightfall), the final Sheva Berachot would take place before nightfall on Tuesday.6

May two Sheva Brachot be held in a single day?

Yes, as long as they meet the criteria outlined above.

The Minyan

How many people are required to recite Sheva Brachot?

As with other prayers, ten Jewish adult males make up the minyan that is required to recite Sheva Brachot. The groom himself is counted as one of the ten.7

Does everybody need to wash for bread?

At least seven of the ten should wash for bread. The other three should at least eat or drink (something besides water) enough to warrant an afterblessing.8

Do the bride and groom need to wash for bread?

Yes, the bride and groom must wash and eat some bread for Sheva Brachot to be recited.9

If the bride or groom cannot eat bread for health reasons, a rabbi should be consulted. (According to some opinions, the one who cannot eat bread should eat what they would ordinarily eat at such a meal, and as long as their spouse ate bread, all Sheva Brachot could still be recited. If both can’t eat bread, then according to some opinions, only the last blessing of Asher Bara should be recited.10)

Can Sheva Brachot still be recited if the new couple arrive “fashionably” late?

As long as the bride and groom join while the meal or dessert is still going on, Sheva Brachot can be recited. If, however, they come after the meal has ended (e.g., people have said Grace After Meals or washed mayim acharonim), it’s too late to recite the Sheva Brachot.11

What if there is no minyan?

If there isn’t a minyan, as long as there are at least three adult men present, the final blessing of Asher Bara may still be recited (provided that there are guests aside from the immediate household or family present).12

The “New Face”

One of the requirements to recite the blessings of Sheva Brachot is that there be a panim chadashot, a “new face” who was not at the wedding feast or any of the other Sheva Brachot.13

Is a panim chadashot required for Shabbat and Yom Tov?

No, Shabbat (except for at Seudah Shlishit, the third meal14) and Yom Tov are themselves considered “a new face,” so there is no requirement for a human panim chadashot.15

Who qualifies as a panim chadashot?

Ideally, it should be someone whose presence would increase the joy of the bride and groom, but practically it can be anyone who qualifies for the minyan.16

How many panim chadashot are needed?

The common practice is to have just one per feast.17 (Some Sephardim have the custom to require two new people to attend.18)

Can one who only attended the chuppah qualify as a panim chadashot?

Yes, as long as they weren't at the wedding meal or dancing.19

Does the panim chadashot need to be present for the whole meal?

As long as he came before the meal ended (as outlined above regarding the bride and groom), he qualifies.20

Does he need to eat anything at the meal?

Strictly speaking, he isn’t required to eat anything at the meal (assuming that the requirements are met without him).21 Ideally, however, he should wash for bread, or at the very least partake of some of the other food or drinks (other than water) served.22

Does the panim chadashot need to recite one of the blessing?

There is no requirement that the panim chadashot actually recite one of the seven blessings.23

What if there isn’t a panim chadoshot?

If there is no panim chadashot, the final blessing of Asher Bara may still be recited (provided that there are guests aside from the immediate household or family present).24

The Meal

What foods should be served?

The meal should include bread so that a full Grace After Meals can be recited. Other than that, you can pick your menu. Meat or dairy may be served, although according to some opinions, all else being equal, meat is preferable.25

What is the proper seating arrangement?

In many circles, the men and women dine separately. In fact, according to many opinions, if there is mixed seating during the meal, the words shehasimchah bimono (added at a Sheva Brachot to the preface of Birkat Hamazon) are omitted.26

Do the bride and groom need to be together for the recital of the Sheva Brachot?

Even if the bride and groom dine separately, the custom is that for the recitation of the Sheva Brachot the bride is present in the same room as the groom in order to hear the blessings.27 (Some extend this custom to the Birkat Hamazon as well.28)

The Second Time Around

When are Sheva Brachot said for a second marriage?

If it's the first marriage for either the bride or groom, then Sheva Brachot are held for the full seven days.

If, however, it’s the second marriage for both of them, the Sheva Brachot are only said at the wedding. The Sheva Brachot after the wedding feast would thus be considered “the” Sheva Brachot.29 (See below regarding the first three days.)

There are differences of opinion on how to proceed if the chuppah is held during the day and the feast is after nightfall, which is technically not the same day. It is preferable to at the very least start the feast during the day,30 but if this isn’t possible, consult a rabbi.

Is there a difference regarding the first three days after a second marriage?

According to some opinions, for the first three days after a second marriage, the final blessing of Asher Bara can be recited at a meal in honor of the couple (provided that there are other guests aside from the immediate family present). Nevertheless, the common custom is not to go out of your way to have such a meal, especially since there are differences of opinion.31

The Procedure

What is done before Grace After Meals?

Before Grace, two full cups of wine are prepared: one for the individual leading the Grace and the other for the Sheva Brachot blessings. The one leading the Grace calls for order, saying, "Let us bless our G‑d. in whose abode there is joy, of whose bounty we have eaten," and all attendees respond accordingly (following the text in a standard siddur).

(Some communities have the custom for the one leading the Grace to add the Devai Haser hymn to the introduction. This hymn prays for the day when the Temple will be rebuilt, when we will all experience ultimate joy.)

What is done after Grace After Meals?

Six guests are invited to sequentially recite the first six blessings of the Sheva Brachot while holding the Sheva Brachot cup. Then the one who led Grace After Meals recites the Hagafen blessing aloud over the wine and sips from his cup (this is the seventh blessing).

Then the wine in both cups are mixed by pouring a bit from each into the other. Take care not to first pour from the cup that has been drunk from into the other. Rather, first pour “untainted” wine into the “tainted” cup before proceeding to pour back from the “tainted” cup into the “untainted” one. (Some have the custom to first pour from both cups into a third cup.)

The groom sips from one cup, and the bride sips from the other. Many participants have the custom to also partake of this wine since it is considered kos shel brachah, “wine of blessing.”

And, of course, a hearty "Mazel Tov" is wished to the happy couple!

We hope this deep dive into the joyous celebration of Sheva Brachot enhances your understanding and appreciation of this beautiful tradition.