As a bride and groom prepare to marry, the shopping can be daunting: furniture, pots pans (two sets, of course, for the kosher kitchen), linens and so much are needed to make a house into a home.
Even more important are the spiritual supplies that a Jewish couple needs in order to marry Jewishly and lay the foundations for a Jewish home.
Here is our handy-dandy Jewish wedding shopping list, a must-have for every Jewish bride and groom.
1. Ketubah
The ketubah is the marriage contract, which lays out the husband’s obligations toward his wife, both during their marriage and after. While a simple ketubah is completely acceptable, it is quite common to choose an ornate ketubah that is also a piece of art, worthy of displaying.
Note that this is a super-important legal document, so it is crucial to get one that conforms to Jewish tradition and law (check with the officiating rabbi before purchasing).
2. Wedding Ring
Under the chuppah (wedding canopy), the groom gives the wife a ring in exchange for her hand for marriage. Shop around for a plain, gold ring with no stones, settings, engravings or any adornments.
3. Breaking Glass
The wedding ceremony concludes with the groom smashing a glass underfoot (read why here). You can use a simple drinking glass (and this is most traditional), or you can get one of these special glasses, which will become a family heirloom, if you prefer.
4. Kippahs
If you will be having guests at your wedding who do not have kippahs of their own, it is common to supply kippahs for them. These are often personalized so that guests can take them home with them as a memento from your special night.
5. Bentchers
After the wedding feast, like every meal, we recite the Grace After Meals (“Bentching” in Yiddish), thanking G‑d for His bounty. At many weddings, small booklets that contain this prayer (known as bentchers) are put out for the guests to use and then take them home with them.
6. Shabbat Candlesticks
A married woman lights two candles each Friday afternoon and every holiday eve (read why and how here). In advance of her marriage, the groom (and/or his mom) traditionally buy her a set of (silver) candlesticks as a gift.
Browse Shabbat Candlesticks for Every Budget and Every Taste
7. Tallit
It is traditional that the bride gifts her husband with a tallit(prayer shawl), which he will then wear during his daily morning service. Tallits vary in size, texture, and style, so browse for one you like.
8. Tallit Bag
It is common, but not at all necessary, to store the tallit in an ornate pouch, often made from velvet or leather. Often, it is embroidered with the name of its owner.
8. Kittel
Under the chuppah, the groom wears a special white robe known as a kittel (read why here), the same garment he will wear every year on Yom Kippur (and at the Passover Seder).
9. Family Purity
Jewish married life has a special ebb and flow, known as Family Purity, with husband and wife separating physically and reunite after the wife immerses in a mikvah (read more about it here). Now, there is a lot to learn here, so, in addition to speaking to a wise rabbi, rebbetzin, or mentor, get a book or two so that you are doing this right.
As part of the Family Purity living system, the wife must check to ensure that her menstrual flow has stopped and no more blood had flowed. This is most easily done with special, soft white cloths.
10. Kiddush Cup
Once you are a couple, you’ll be celebrating Shabbat and Jewish holidays together. Each holy day is ushered in and out with a special blessing over wine. While a drinking glass can do in a pinch, many families have a beautiful kiddush cup reserved for this mitzvah .
11. Challah Cover
After kiddush is said over wine, you’ll break bread over two delicious challah loaves. Until after kiddush is finished, they stay covered (learn why here) often with a special cloth.
12. Washing Cup
Jews use a special two-handled cup to do a spiritual hand-washing before eating bread, upon arising in the morning, and after using the washroom. The two handles allow the washer to keep his or her washed hand from touching (and becoming sullied by) the unwashed hand.
Basic plastic washing cups cost just a few dollars, with ceramic or metal cups matching every price point and aesthetic.
13. Shabbat Lamp
Among the activities we avoid on Shabbat is turning on or off light switches (read why here). So how do you have light in your bedroom? One creative solution is the Shabbat lamp, which can be “turned off” by adjusting the shade without actually putting out the light.
14. Sacred Books
It’s not for nothing that the Jewish people are known as the People of the Book. As you establish your home together, make sure your home is stocked with the basics. Not sure where to start?
15. Kosher Cookbooks
As you establish your Jewish home, we bless you that your host many lively, joyous—and kosher!--family meals. This is the time to get yourselves some kosher cookbooks to establish food traditions that will last for generations yet to come.
16. Mezuzahs
Placed on the right side of our doorways, kosher mezuzahs are the hallmark of the Jewish home, ubiquitous reminders that G‑d is with us and protecting us at all times. Of course, pretty cases are nice, but the main thing is the handwritten parchment scroll contained inside.
Count the doors in your house (excluding the bathroom and small closets) and get a mezuzah for each one.
17. Pushke (Charity Box)
“The world is built with kindness,” said King David, and the same is surely true for the Jewish home. You can literally build kindness into your home by fixing a beautiful charity box onto the wall of your kitchen and making sure to use it often to support the cause of your choice.
18. Jewish Wedding Companion
Are you or your guests new to the Jewish wedding scene and not sure what to expect next? This handy guide, produced by the Jewish Learning Group, takes you from the engagement through the entire wedding with clear instructions, explanations, and directions. It also includes all relevant prayers, liturgy, and blessings.
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