I want someone to blame.

Someone that I can look at
Scream at until I am blue in my face
It's all because of you
That little children do not have a father to kiss
And loving mothers will have to kiss their child one last goodbye.

Or maybe, I don't want anyone to blame.
But give me a link.
A link to donate
To do something
To try to ease the pain of those families
It's just so unbearable
I want to do something.

Or a name of a Rabbi.
A great Torah scholar.
I want to ask him:
“How can that be? On the holy day of Lag BaOmer!?”
I want him to give me a beautiful quote from the Talmud
To make sense of it all.

But no.
I don't want anyone to blame.
And don't give me the name of the rabbi.
And please send me the link to donate soon.
Not now.

Now, I just want to lift my eyes to the sky
And let them fill with tears.
The raw pain
The acceptance that all is in His hands.

For now
We are just one family
One nation
In mourning.

18 Iyar 5781
Mendy Kaminker