1

During the seven days of mourning he is forbidden to sit on a bench or upon pillows and cushions. He must sit on the ground [floor]. But an ill or elderly person, who experience pain when sitting on the floor, may place a small pillow beneath them. However, the mourner may walk or stand, and is not compelled to sit down at all. Only in the presence of the consolers is he required to be seated. He is also forbidden to sleep in a bed or on a bench; he must sleep on the floor. But he may spread pillows and cushions on the floor as he usually does in his bed. Some Poskim permit him to sleep in a bed. And some are accustomed to do so because they have frail constitutions, and are considered ill in this regard.

א

אָסוּר לֵישֵׁב כָּל שִׁבְעָה עַל גַּבֵּי סַפְסָל אוֹ עַל גַּבֵּי כָרִים וּכְסָתוֹת, כִּי אִם עַל גַּבֵּי קַרְקַע. אַךְ חוֹלֶה וְזָקֵן שֶׁיֵשׁ לָהֶם צַעַר בִּישִׁיבָה עַל גַּבֵּי קַרְקַע, מֻתָּרִין לָשִׂים כַּר קָטֹן תַּחְתֵּיהֶם. מִיהוּ יָכוֹל לֵילֵךְ וְלַעֲמוֹד וְאֵינוֹ צָרִיךְ לֵישֵׁב כְּלָל, רַק כְּשֶׁהַמְנַחֲמִים אֶצְלוֹ צָרִיךְ לֵישֵׁב. וְכֵן אָסוּר לִישׁוֹן עַל גַּבֵּי מִטָּה אוֹ סַפְסָל, רַק עַל גַּבֵּי קַרְקַע. אֲבָל יָכוֹל לְהַצִּיעַ תַּחְתָּיו כָּרִים וּכְסָתוֹת עַל הַקַּרְקַע כְּמוֹ שֶׁהוּא רָגִיל לִשְׁכַּב בַּמִּטָּה (תְּשׁוּבָה מֵאַהֲבָה בְּשֵׁם הַגָּאוֹן בַּעַל נוֹדָע בִּיהוּדָה). וְיֵש מַתִּירִין לִישׁוֹן בַמִּטָּה. וְכֵן נוֹהֲגִין קְצָת, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁטִּבְעָם חָלוּשׁ וְהַוְיָן כְּמוֹ חוֹלִים לְעִנְיָן זֶה.

2

On the first day, a mourner is forbidden to put on Tefillin, whether it is the day of death and burial or the day of burial alone. If the burial took place at night, he may not put on Tefillin the following day. On the second day of mourning, he should put them on after sunrise. The day on which one receives timely news is like the day of death and burial. But if the death occurs on a Festival, or he receives timely news on a Festival, then, on the first day after the Festival, he should put on Tefillin.

ב

אָבֵל בַּיּוֹם הָרִאשׁוֹן אָסוּר לְהַנִּיחַ תְּפִלִּין, בֵּין שֶׁהוּא יוֹם מִיּתָה וּקְבוּרָה, בֵּין שֶׁהוּא יּוֹם קְבוּרָה לְחוּד. וְאִם נִקְבַּר בַּלַּיְלָה, אָסוּר לְהַנִּיחַ תְּפִלִּין בַּיּוֹם שֶׁלְּאַחֲרָיו, וּבַיוֹם הַשֵּׁנִי מֵנִּיחָן לְאַחַר הָנֵץ הַחַמָּה. וְיוֹם שְׁמוּעָה קְרוֹבָה, כְּיּוֹם מִיתָה וּקְבוּרָה דָּמֵי. אֲבָל מִי שֶׁמֵּת לוֹ מֵת בָרֶגֶל אוֹ שֶׁבָּאָה לוֹ שְׁמוּעָה קְרוֹבָה בָּרֶגֶל, אֲזַי בַּיּוֹם הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁלְּאַחַר הָרֶגֶל, מֵנִּיחַ תְּפִלִּין.

3

Wrapping the head is not customary in our regions. Nevertheless, one should make a token wrapping, by pulling down the hat close to the eyes during the seven days of mourning. This is not done on Shabbos because this is a public manifestation of mourning.

ג

עֲטִיפַת הָרֹאשׁ, אֵין נוֹהֲגִין בִּמְדִינוֹת אֵלּוּ. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם יֵשׁ לִנְהוֹג בַּעֲטִיפָה קְצָת, דְּהַיְנוּ לִמְשׁוֹךְ אֶת הַכּוֹבַע לְמַטָּה לִפְנֵי הַעֵינַיִם כָּל שִׁבְעָה, חוּץ מִשַׁבָּת, מִשּׁוּם דַּהֲוֵי דָּבָר שֶׁבְּפַרְהֶסְיָא.

4

A mourner is forbidden to wear a freshly washed garment, even a shirt, during the seven days of mourning and not even in the honor of Shabbos. Even sheets, bedspreads, and hand-towels, are forbidden if they are freshly washed. However, in honor of Shabbos it is permitted to cover the table with tablecloths that were washed before the period of mourning began.

ד

אָסוּר לִלְבּוֹשׁ בֶּגֶד מְכֻבָּס וַאֲפִלּוּ כֻּתֹּנֶת, בְּתוֹךְ שִׁבְעָה, וַאֲפִלּוּ לִכְבוֹד שַׁבָּת. אֲפִלּוּ סְדִינִים וּמַצְעוֹת הַמִּטָּה וּמִטְפְּחוֹת יָדַיִם, אָסוּר לְהַצִּיעַ הַמְכֻבָּסִין. אַךְ לִכְבוֹד שַׁבָּת, מֻתָּר לְהַצִּיעַ עַל הַשֻּׁלְחָן, מִטְפָּחוֹת מְכֻבָּסוֹת מִכְּבָר.

5

Washing his own garments, even if he intends to leave them until after the seven days of mourning, is forbidden, because it is considered work. However, if his garments are in the hands of others, they are permitted to wash them, like any other type of work which they had contracted to do for him.

ה

לְכַבֵּס כְּסוּתוֹ בְעַצְמוֹ, אֲפִלּוּ לְהַנִּיחָה לְאַחַר שִׁבְעָה, אָסוּר מִשּׁוּם מְלָאכָה. וְאִם הָיְתָה כְסוּתוֹ בִידֵי אֲחֵרִים, מֻתָּרִין לְכַבְּסָן כְּמוֹ שְׁאָר מְלָאכָה בְּקַבְּלָנוּת (לְעֵיל סִימָן רח סָעִיף יב)

6

If one is in a second consecutive period of mourning, he is permitted to wash his garments with water only (not with ash, soap or the like), and to wear them.

ו

מִי שֶׁתְּכָפוּהוּ אֲבֵלֻיּוֹת זוֹ אַחַר זוֹ, מֻתָּר לְכַבֵּס כְּסוּתוֹ בְּמַיִם לְבָד (אֲבָל לֹא בְאֵפֶר וּבוֹרִית וְכַדּוֹמֶה) וּלְלָבְשׁוֹ.

7

After the seven days of mourning until the thirtieth day, the halacha that forbids the mourner to wear or spread beneath himself a freshly washed garment is applicable only if it is ironed (some say this does not mean ironing, but washing with water and ash or with soda and soap), and is white and new. But it is the custom to forbid wearing even washed garments, even if they were not ironed, unless someone else had worn them for a short time previously. If, however, they were merely washed with water, it is not necessary that another person wear them first.

ז

לְאַחַר שִׁבְעָה עַד שְׁלֹשִׁים, מִדִּינָא אֵינוֹ אָסוּר לִלְבּוֹשׁ אוֹ לְהַצִּיעַ תַּחְתָּיו אֶלָּא בֶּגֶד מְגֹהָץ (גִּהוּץ, יֵש אוֹמְרִים דְהַיְנוּ געמאנגעלט, געראלט, געביגלט. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים, דְּהַיְנוּ כִּבּוּס וָאֵפֶר אוֹ בְּנֶתֶר וּבוֹרִית). וְהוּא שֶׁיְהֵא לָבָן וְחָדָש. אֲבָל נוֹהֲגִין לֶאֱסוֹר גַּם בִּמְכֻבָּס אֲפִלּוּ בְּלֹא גִהוּץ, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן לוֹבְשׁוֹ אָדָם אַחֵר תְּחִלָּה זְמַן מָה. אַךְ אִם אֵינוֹ מְכֻבָּס אֶלָּא בְמַיִם לְבָד, אֵין צֹרֶךְ שֶׁיִלְבְּשֶׁנּוּ אַחֵר תְּחִלָה.

8

If he does not change his garments for pleasure, rather out of necessity, as when the shirt he is wearing is soiled, or because of a rash, he is permitted to change his garments even during the first seven days, and even on a weekday, provided someone had previously worn them.

ח

אִם אֵינוֹ מַחֲלִיף לְתַעֲנוּג אֶלָּא לְצֹרֶךְ, כְּגוֹן שֶׁהַכֻּתֹּנֶת שֶׁעָלָיו מְלֻכְלֶכֶת אוֹ מִשּׁוּם עִרְבּוּבְיָא, מֻתָּר אֲפִלּוּ תּוֹךְ שִׁבְעָה, וּבַחֹל, אִם לְבָשָהּ אַחֵר תְּחִלָּה.

9

He is permitted to wash and and iron his garments after the seven days of mourning in order to wear them after the thirty days, or to wear them during the thirty days, after they will have been worn by someone else.

ט

מוּתָּר לְכַבֵּס וּלְגַהֵץ לְאַחַר שִׁבְעָה לְלָבְשָׁם לְאַחַר שְׁלֹשִׁים, אוֹ לְלָבְשָׁם אֲפִלּוּ תּוֹךְ שְׁלֹשִׁים לְאַחַר שֶׁיִלְבְּשֵׁם אַחֵר.

10

During the first thirty days he is forbidden to wear Shabbos clothes even on Shabbos,1 and he certainly may not wear new clothing. When mourning the loss of his father or mother, he is by custom forbidden to wear new clothes during the entire twelve months. If, however, he needs them, he should let another person wear them first, for two or three days.

י

אָסוּר לִלְבּוֹשׁ תּוֹךְ שְׁלֹשִׁים בִּגְדֵי שַׁבָּת אֲפִלּוּ בְשַׁבָּת, וּמִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן לְִלְבּוֹשׁ בְּגָדִים חֲדָשִׁים. וְעַל אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ, נָהֲגוּ אִסּוּר לִלְבּוֹשׁ בְּגָדִים חֲדָשִׁים כָּל שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ (עַיֵן לְקַמָּן סִימָן רטז סָעִיף ג). אַךְ אִם צָרִיךְ לָהֶם, יִתֵּן לְאַחֵר לְלָבְשָׁם תְּחִלָּה שְׁנַיִם אוֹ שְׁלשָׁה יָמִים.

11

A woman, during the first thirty days of mourning, or even during the first seven days of mourning, whose time has come, to go to the synagogue on the Shabbos, after giving birth, customarily considers this Shabbos like a Yom Tov by wearing expensive clothing and gold jewelry. She is permitted to wear Shabbos clothing, but not her Yom Tov clothing, lest her mind be diverted, and she forget she is in mourning. She does not need to change her seat in the synagogue.

יא

אִשָּׁה בְּתוֹךְ שְׁלֹשִׁים וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּתוֹךְ שִׁבְעָה לְאֶבְלָהּ, שֶׁהִגִּיעַ זְמַנָּה לָלֶכֶת בְּשַׁבָּת לְבֵית הַכְּנֶסֶת לְאַחַר לֵדָתָהּ, וְנוֹהֲגוֹת שֶׁאוֹתָהּ שַׁבָּת הִיא לָהּ כְּמוֹ יוֹם טוֹב לִלְבּוֹשׁ בִּגְדֵי יְקָר וַעֲדִי זָהָב, מֻתֶּרֶת לִלְבּוֹשׁ בְּשַׁבָּת זוֹ בִּגְדֵי שַׁבָּת, אַךְ לֹא בִגְדֵי יוֹם טוֹב, שֶׁלֹּא תָזוּחַ דַּעְתָּהּ וְתִשְׁכַּח הָאֲבֵלוּת. וְאֵינָהּ צְרִיכָה לְשַׁנּוֹת מְקוֹמָהּ (שו"ת פמ"א ח"ב סִימָן קכג).

12

A mourner is forbidden to have his hair cut during the first thirty days of mourning, whether it is the hair of his head, the beard, or any other part of the body. If he mourns the loss of his father or mother, he is forbidden to cut his hair until he is admonished by his friends. The estimated time of admonishment is a subject of controversy between the Poskim. The custom in our regions is not to cut the hair the entire year unless it is necessary, as when his hair is burdensome to him, or if he mingles with people of different nationalities, who would look upon him with scorn because of his hair. In such instances he is allowed to have it cut, for actual admonishment is not required. But if his hair grew to such proportions, that he looks different from his friends, so that people would be apt to say, "How different he is," then he is allowed to have it cut, provided it is after thirty days of mourning.

יב

אָסוּר לְגַלֵּחַ שְׂעָרוֹ כָּל שְׁלֹשִׁים, בֵּין שְעַר רֹאשׁוֹ, בֵּין שְעַר זְקָנוֹ, בֵּין שְעַר כָּל מָקוֹם. וְעַל אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ, אָסוּר לְגַלֵּחַ עַד שֶׁיִגְעֲרוּ בוֹ חֲבֵרָיו. וְשִׁעוּר גְּעָרָה, יֶשׁ בּוֹ מַחֲלֹקֶת הַפּוֹסְקִים. וְנוֹהֲגִין בִּמְדִינוֹת אֵלּוּ, שֶׁאֵין מְגַלְּחִין כָּל שְׁנֵים עָשָר חֹדֶשׁ אִם לֹא לְצֹרֶךְ, כְּגוֹן שֶׁהִכְבִּיד עָלָיו שְעָרוֹ אוֹ שֶׁהוֹלֵךְ בֵּין הַגּוֹיִם וּמִתְנַוֵּל בֵּינֵיהֶם בְּשַׂעֲרוֹתָיו, אָז מֻתָּר לְגַלְּחָם, כִּי אֵין צְרִיכִים גְּעָרָה בְּפֵרוּשׁ, אֶלָּא כְּשֶׁיִגְדַּל שְׂעָרוֹ עַד שֶׁיִהְיֶה מְשֻׁנֶּה מֵחֲבֵרָיו שֶׁרָאוּי לוֹמַר עָלָיו כַּמָּה מְשֻׁנֶּה זֶה, אָז מֻתָּר לְגַלֵּחַ, וּבִלְבַד שֶׁיְהֵא לְאַחַר שְׁלֹשִׁים.

13

Just as he is forbidden to have his hair cut during the first thirty days of mourning, so too is he forbidden to cut his nails with an instrument. But with his hands or teeth, it is permitted even during the first seven days. If he is a Mohel, he is forbidden to cut his nails in order to perform the laceration of the foreskin, unless there is no other Mohel available, and then he is permitted to do so even during the first seven days. A woman who needs to perform the ritual immersion after the first seven days of mourning, but within the thirty days, should ask a non-Jewess to cut her nails. If a non-Jewess in unavailable, a Jewess may do it.

יג

כְּשֵׁם שֶׁאָסוּר לְגַלֵּחַ כָּל שְׁלֹשִׁים, כָּךְ אָסוּר לִקְצוֹץ צִפָּרְנָיו בְּכֶלִי. אֲבָל בְּיָדָיו אוֹ בְשִׁנָּיו, מֻתָּר אֲפִלּוּ תּוֹךְ שִׁבְעָה. וְאִם הוּא מוֹהֵל, אָסוּר לוֹ לְתַקֵּן אֶת הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם לְצֹרֶךְ הַפְּרִיעָה אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן שֶׁאֵין כָּאן מוֹהֵל אַחֵר, וְאָז מֻתָּר אֲפִלּוּ תּוֹךְ שִׁבְעָה. וְאִשָּׁה שֶׁאֵרְעָה טְבִילָתָהּ לְאַחַר שִׁבְעָה תּוֹךְ שְׁלֹשִׁים, תֹּאמַר לְאִשָּׁה נָכְרִית שֶׁתָּקוֹץ צִפָּרְנֶיהָ. וְאִי לֵיכָּא נָכְרִית, תָּקוֹץ לָהּ יִשְֹרָאֵלית.

14

A mourner is permitted to comb his hair with a comb even during the first seven days of mourning.

יד

מֻתָּר לִסְרוֹק רֹאשׁוֹ בְּמַסְרֵק וַאֲפִלּו תּוֹךְ שִׁבְעָה.

15

If it customary for a mourner to change his place in the synagogue during the first thirty days of mourning, and after the loss of his father or mother, for twelve months. The change of place should be at least four amos away from his original place, and should be to a place that is farther from the Aron HaKodesh than his original place.

טו

נוֹהֲגִין שֶׁהָאָבֵל מְשַׁנֶּה מְקוֹמוֹ בְבֵית הַכְּנֶסֶת כָּל שְׁלֹשִׁים, וּלְאַחַר אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ. וְשִׁנוּי מָקוֹם, הַיְנוּ לְכָל הַפָּחוֹת רָחוֹק אַרְבַּע אַמּוֹת מִמְּקוֹמוֹ, וְלִמְקוֹם שֶׁהוּא יוֹתֵר רָחוֹק מֵאֲרוֹן הַקֹּדֶשׁ מִמְּקוֹמוֹ.