Kitzur Shulchan Aruch - Chapter 209: The prohibition to Bathe, Anoint, Wear Shoes And to Engage In Marital Relations

The mourner is forbidden to wash his entire body even with cold water; but his face, hands and feet are only forbidden to be washed with warm water, but are permitted to be washed with cold water. Bathing with warm water is forbidden during the entire thirty day mourning period, and even washing the head with warm water is forbidden. Similarly, bathing the entire body with cold water, if done for pleasure, is forbidden the entire thirty days. A woman, for the necessity of bathing before the ritual immersion, is permitted to bathe in warm water after the seven days of mourning have passed. With regard to wearing clean white garments, refer to Chapter 159:5.

If a woman becomes a mourner after giving birth, and she must bathe, she is permitted to bathe even during the seven days of mourning. However, on the first day she should be stringent and not bathe if it is not that necessary. Similarly, a person of delicate constitution, who would suffer greatly if he did not bathe, and his health might be affected, is permitted to bathe. Also, one who has disturbing head pains is permitted to wash his head with warm water.

A mourner is forbidden to anoint himself even in a minimal fashion if it is for the sake of pleasure. However, if his intention is to remove dirt, he is permitted to anoint himself. It is certainly permitted for medical purposes, as when he has scabs on his head.

A person who had multiple periods of mourning, such as two consecutive periods of mourning, is permitted to bathe with cold water.

The prohibition against wearing shoes applies only to leather shoes; but shoes of cloth, reeds, hair, or wood, are permitted, for the term "shoe" refers only to a shoe made of leather. A wooden shoe covered with leather is forbidden. Although the mourner is forbidden to wear shoes, nevertheless, in the morning he should say the berachah, "She'assa Lee Kol Tzarkee" ("Who provided me with all my needs").

A woman within thirty days after giving birth is permitted to wear shoes; so is an ill person, or one who has a wound on his foot, because the cold is harmful to them.

A mourner who must travel on the road, is permitted to wear shoes. he should, however, put a bit of earth in his shoes. Similarly, in all other instances when a mourner must wear shoes, he should do this.

A mourner is forbidden to engage in marital relations. Embracing and kissing are also forbidden. But other acts of intimacy, such as filling a cup, making the bed and similar things, are permitted. [It makes no difference if] the husband is the mourner, or the wife is the mourner.