1

On the first day of mourning, the mourner is forbidden to eat his first meal from his own food. It is a mitzvah for his neighbors to send him food for his first meal, which is called the meal of condolence. This meal should begin with eggs or lentils, for they are round and have no mouth, just as the mourner has no mouth (speech). After this course he may eat all foods, even meat. He is permitted to drink a little wine during the meal, in order to help digest the food in his stomach, but not enough to satisfy his desire. (Some Poskeim maintain that he is forbidden to eat of his own food the entire first day, even if he eats many meals on that day).

א

הָאָבֵל, בַּיּוֹם הָרִאשׁוֹן, אָסוּר לוֹ לֶאֱכוֹל סְעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה מִשֶּׁלּוֹ. וּמִצְוָה עַל שְׁכֵנָיו שֶׁיִשְׁלְחוּ לוֹ לִסְעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, וְנִקְרֵאת סְעוּדַת הַבְרָאָה. וּתְחִלַּת הַסְּעוּדָה, תְּהֵא בְבֵצִים אוֹ עֲדָשִׁים שֶׁהֵן עֲגֻלּוֹת וְאֵין לָהֶן פֶּה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁהָאָבֵל אֵין לוֹ פֶּה. וְאַחַר זֹאת, מֻתָּר לוֹ לֶאֱכוֹל כָּל מַאֲכָל וַאֲפִלּוּ בָשָׂר. וּמֻתָּר לִשְׁתּוֹת קְצָת יַיִן בְּתוֹךְ הַסְּעוּדָה כְּדֵי לִשְׁרוֹת הַמַּאֲכָל בְּמֵעָיו, אֲבָל לֹא לִרְוֹת. (יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים, דְּכָל הַיּוֹם הַרִאשׁוֹן, אָסוּר לוֹ לֶאֱכוֹל מִשֶּׁלּוֹ, אֲפִלּוּ אוֹכֵל כַּמָה פְעָמִים בַּיּוֹם).

2

If the mourner does not wish to eat that day until nightfall, since the day has passed, he is permitted to eat of his own food. Therefore, if he lives alone in a village, and there is nobody to send him the meal of condolence, it is proper for him to fast until nightfall. Nevertheless, if he cannot fast, he is not obliged to afflict himself, and he may eat of his own food.

ב

אִם אֵינוֹ רוֹצֶה לֶאֱכוֹל בַּיּוֹם עַד הַלַּיְלָה, כֵּיוָן שֶׁעָבַר הַיּוֹם, הֻתַּר לוֹ לֶאֱכוֹל מִשֶּׁלּוֹ. וְלָכֵן מִי שֶׁהוּא דָר יְחִידִי בִּכְפָר וְאֵין מִי שֶׁיִשְלַח לוֹ סְעוּדַת הַבְרָאָה, נָכוֹן שֶׁיִתְעַנֶה עַד הַלָּיְלָה. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם אִם אֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לְהִתְעַנּוֹת, אֵינוֹ מְחֻיָב לְצַעֵר אֶת עַצְמוֹ וּמֻתָּר לוֹ לֶאֱכוֹל מִשֶּׁלּוֹ.

3

If a married woman became a mourner, she is forbidden to eat her first meal from her husband's food, for since it is his duty to support her, it is considered as her own food. Similarly, if a hired person works for someone and his meals are part of his wages, and he became a mourner, he should not eat his first meal from his employers's food. However, if a person supports an orphan, or his own grownup son or daughter without any legal commitment to do so, and they became mourners, they may eat their first meal from his food for it is not considered as their own.

ג

אִשָּׁה נְשׂוּאָה שֶׁאֵרְעָהּ אֵבֶל, אָסוּר לָהּ לֶאֱכוֹל סְעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה מִשֶּׁל בַּעְלָהּ, דְּכֵיוָן שֶׁהוּא מְחֻיָב לְזוּנָהּ, שֶׁלָּהּ הִיא. וְכֵן מִי שֶׁיֶשׁ לוֹ שָׂכִיר, אִם אוֹכֵל בִּשְׂכָרוֹ וְאֵרְעוֹ אֵבֶל, לֹא יֹאכַל סְעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה מִשֶּׁל בַּעַל הַבִַּיִת שֶׁלּוֹ. אֲבָל מִי שֶׁהוּא זָן יָתוֹם אוֹ בְנוֹ אוֹ בִתּוֹ בְּלֹא תְנַאי וְאֵרְעָם אֵבֶל, יְכָוֹלִים לֶאֱכוֹל מִשֶּׁלּוֹ, שֶאֵין זֹאת שֶּׁלָּהֶם.

4

A woman should not be provided with the condolence meal by men, rather women should provide her with the meal.

ד

אִשָּׁה, אֵין לַאֲנָשִׁים לְהַבְרוֹת אוֹתָהּ, אֶלָּא נָשִׁים מַבְרוֹת אוֹתָהּ.

5

If the deceased was buried at night and the mourner wishes to eat at night, he is forbidden to eat of his own food, but it must be provided for him by others. If he does not wish to eat that night, he is forbidden to eat his first meal from his own food during the daytime, for since the daytime follows the night, it is still the first day of his mourning.

ה

אִם נִקְבַּר הַמֵּת בַּלַּיְלָה, אִם רוֹצֶה לֶאֱכוֹל בַּלַּיְלָה, אָסוּר לוֹ לֶאֱכוֹל מִשֶּׁלּוֹ, אֶלָא מַבְרִין אוֹתוֹ. וְאִם אֵינוֹ רוֹצֶה לֶאֱכוֹל בַּלַיְלָה, אָסוּר לוֹ לֶאֱכוֹל בַּיּוֹם סְעוּדָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה מִשֶּׁלּוֹ, מִשּׁוּם דְּהַיּוֹם הוֹלֵךְ אַחַר הַלַּיְלָה, וַהֲוֵי לֵהּ יוֹם רִאשׁוֹן.

6

If the burial took place on Friday, after the ninth hour of the day, when it is forbidden to eat a regular meal, he should not be sent the meal of condolence out of respect for the Shabbos and the mourner should eat nothing until the evening.

ו

אִם נִקְבַּר הַמֵּת בְּעֶרֶב שַׁבָּת מִתֵּשַׁע שָׁעוֹת וּלְמַעְלָה שֶׁאָז אָסוּר לִקְבּוֹעַ סְעוּדָה, אֵין מַבְרִין אוֹתוֹ, מִפְּנֵי כְּבוֹד שַׁבָּת, וְלֹא יֹאכַל כְּלוּם עַד הַלָּיְלָה.

7

The meal of condolence is sent only to one who received timely news, but it is not sent to one who received delayed news. If one received timely news on Shabbos, the condolence meal is not sent to him for he may eat his own food. Also on the following day (Sunday) the condolence meal is not sent to him, because the need for it was cancelled on the day he received the news.

ז

מַבְרִין עַל שְׁמוּעָה קְרוֹבָה, וְאֵין מַבְרִין עַל שְׁמוּעָה רְחוֹקָה (עַיֵן סִימָן שֶׁאַחַר זֶה). שָׁמַע שְׁמוּעָה קְרוֹבָה בַשַׁבָּת, אֵין מַבְרִין אוֹתוֹ, וְאוֹכֵל מִשֶּׁלּוֹ. וְגַם בְּיוֹם רִאשׁוֹן שֶׁלְּאַחֲרָיו, אֵין מַבְרִין אוֹתוֹ, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁכְּבָר נִדְחָה יוֹם הַשְּׁמוּעָה.

8

Also, if one's relative dies, and was buried on Yom Tov, the condolence meal is not sent to him. After Yom Tov you also do not send him this meal because the need for it was already cancelled. However, if the burial took place on Chol Ha'moed, the condolence meal should be sent to him, but he should eat it while sitting on a chair, at the table, in his usual manner, because there is no mourning on Chol Ha'moed.

ח

וְכֵן מִי שֶׁמֵּת לוֹ מֵת וְנִקְבַּר בְּיוֹם טוֹב, אֵין מַבְרִין אוֹתוֹ. וְגַם לְאַחַר יוֹם טוֹב אֵין מַבְרִין אוֹתוֹ, כֵּיוָן שֶׁכְּבָר נִדְחָה. אֲבָל אִם נִקְבַּר בְּחֹל הַמּוֹעֵד, מַבְרִין אוֹתוֹ, אֶלָּא שֶׁאוֹכֵל כְּשֶׁהוּא יוֹשֵב עַל הַסַּפְסָל אֵצֶל הַשֻּׁלְחָן כְּדַרְכּוֹ, כִּי אֵין אֲבֵלּוּת בְּחֹל הַמּוֹעֵד.

9

It was the custom to fast on the day a Torah scholar passed away.

ט

הָיוּ נוֹהֲגִין לְהִתְעַנּוֹת בְּיוֹם מִיתַת תַּלְמִיד חָכָם.