The principle of avoiding pleasure during mourning also applies to the prohibition of laundering, or wearing freshly laundered clothes during shiva and sheloshim. The mourner must deny himself certain pleasures while continuing to exercise normal standards of hygienic care and personal dignity.

One of the quiet, daily delights is the donning of laundered and pressed clothes. It is a feeling of refreshing newness that prepares one for the toil of the day. Being properly and carefully dressed creates a healthy frame of mind. Carlyle, the French essayist, maintained that the first impulse of man from ancient times is "putz," ornamentation or dressing-up. Thus, the universal practice of dressing up for the Sabbath.

This spirit of newness and the fresh start is contrary to the mental attitude of the mourner. His mind is gripped by the "end of days," and times gone by. The mourner looks not forward, but backward to the past, one portion of which has just been closed shut. It is a past lived with one very close to him, with whom he was emotionally intertwined, who is now deceased. The days of mourning are filled with review, not with plans; with a relationship ended, not a new beginning; an era terminated without any recommencement in sight. In such a mood, the newly-pressed shirt is out of place. New clothes are a contradiction of the inner spirit.

While washed and tailored clothes for the mourning occasion surely may not be worn, the wearing of clean clothes is mandatory. If the only clothes available are soiled, they must be washed, and may then be worn. Tradition, thus, permits the mourner to wear freshly-washed garments for cleanliness only, but not for pleasure.

Laundering

Two laws are involved in the laundering of clothes during shiva:

  1. The mourner may not wash clothes, even if only to soak them in plain water, or even in preparation for wearing them the week after, as this is considered "work" and prohibited during the shiva. The only exception is the case of an infant's clothes, when no one else is available to do them.

  2. The mourner may not wear freshly-laundered clothes that have been washed either by someone else during shiva, or even before the demise. Thus:

    a. The mourner is not permitted to wear freshly-laundered or freshly-pressed clothes during the days of shiva. He should wear clean clothes that were worn to the funeral, or at any time previously, but by no means clothes that are soiled.

    b. If the clothing becomes soiled, he should wash the spot, and if that proves difficult he should change the garment.

    c. Shirts and blouses, trousers, underclothes, socks or stockings, or other garments that touch the body and are liable to absorb sweat and bodily odor, may be changed when necessary, even during shiva.

    d. Handkerchiefs and bedsheets follow the law of underclothing referred to above. A freshly-washed tablecloth may be used for the Sabbath, but not for weekdays.

    e. In honor of the Sabbath, a freshly-washed shirt and simple Sabbath outer garments may be worn. Undergarments, however, should not be changed on the Sabbath unless they are not clean. Publicly, the mourner dresses up for the Sabbath. Inwardly, he remains in mourning, even on the Sabbath.

    f. New clothes may not be worn during shiva, even on the Sabbath.

    g. After shiva, until sheloshim, the mourner may wash his clothes (without detergents) and press them. If a mourner wishes to wear new garments, he should have someone wear these particular articles of clothing for a short while so that they will no longer be considered new. Underclothes may be worn by the mourner without the above restrictions.

New Clothes

  1. During sheloshim one may not wear new clothes, even if they are dyed, thus changing their original color.

  2. Even mourners for relatives other than parents may not wear new clothes until after sheloshim. Exceptions may be made under certain circumstances which can be evaluated by a rabbi.

  3. Technically, mourners for parents may don new clothes after sheloshim. However, common Jewish usage has urged them not to buy new clothes during the entire year. Therefore, if the mourner finds it necessary to buy clothes, or if there has been a demonstration of social reproach (friends urging a change of wardrobe), or if a festival is approaching, the mourner may purchase new clothes. In this case, however, as in the case of mourners for relatives other than parents in the midst of sheloshim, one should have the new garment worn for a short while by a friend or relative.