I have been married for nearly a year now. My husband is a wonderful guy, and I feel extremely blessed. However, I have one issue that does not seem to be going away. When we were dating, we were both newlyHe wears his kippah all the time religious. He was slightly more observant than I was, but we both respected and understood each other. The one thing I haven't gotten over is that he wears his kippah all the time. It’s such a rarity in our social circles, so it makes me feel uncomfortable and, at times, even ashamed. As much as I wish I could simply not let this bother me, it does. Can you help me change my attitude?


You need to examine why the kippah bothers you so much. Here's my guess:

Your husband's kippah doesn't bother you at all. It bothers other people, and you have internalized other people's opinions. So you feel ashamed.

Maybe someone in your family has made comments about it. Or maybe you have seen strangers giving him odd looks. Or maybe you think your friends think it’s weird. And maybe you are right.

But it's not your problem. It's theirs.

He does what he believes is right even though it is not the norm

We do this often. We take on other people's issues as our own, and we feel like we need to justify ourselves when others don’t approve. But we don't.

The problem is not yours—but the husband is. And just as you respect him for so many other things, you can respect him for this too, as soon as you quiet down the internal voices that are making you feel self-conscious.

And there is a lot to respect about your husband. He does what he believes is right even though it is not the norm. He isn't just following the crowd. He is himself in all situations, without needing to adjust his image to fit in.

The rarity of your husband is not that he wears a kippah, but that he is who he is, and he is real about it. There aren't so many guys like that around. Be proud of him, and be proud of yourself. You chose well.

You can find more information about why men wear kippahs here.