An oasis in time, Shabbat is welcomed with a series of rituals designed to usher in the day of tranquility. The Shabbat candles, the evening service, the signing of Shalom Aleichem and Aishet Chayil, and the recital of kiddush— all combine to turn the first hours of the Shabbat into a unique experience.
Below is a brief step-by-step guide to the rituals of Friday Evening.
The Shabbat Table
It is best to set the Shabbat table before the start of Shabbat. You will need a cup or goblet, wine or grape juice for kiddush, and two whole challah loaves, placed on a tray and covered with a cloth. The table is traditionally covered with a white tablecloth and richly set with attractive tableware— as befits the Shabbat queen.
Read: Why Do We Cover the Challah Bread on the Shabbat Table?
Shabbat Candles
As night approaches, women and girls light the Shabbat Candles. It is customary for married women to light (at least) two candles and for single girls to light one. Candles should be placed on or near the Shabbat table to illuminate the Shabbat dinner. The candles are lit before sunset, and the blessing is recited.
For an in-depth candle-lighting guide, see: Shabbat Candle-Lighting
Kabbalat Shabbat
After the Shabbat candles have ushered in the Shabbat holiness, we welcome the Shabbat bride with the evening prayers, which include the L'cha Dodi song ("Come, my beloved, to greet the bride, let us receive the presence of the Shabbat...") and verses from Genesis recounting G‑d's Shabbat rest following the Six Days of Creation. The service is best experienced in the synagogue, but if you can't make it to a formal house of worship, say the prayers at home.
Shalom Aleichem
After the evening service, we gather around the Shabbat table and sing Shalom Aleichem. The Talmud relates, “Two angels accompany a person on the eve of the Shabbat from the synagogue to his home.”1 With Shalom Aleichem, we greet these Shabbat angels, request their blessing, and bid them farewell.
We then sing Aishet Chayil, a special tribute to another type of Shabbat angel — the Jewish woman. Composed by King Solomon, it sings the praises of the “woman of valor,” extolling her for her loves and labors and the light she brings to the Jewish home.
Kiddush
G‑d declared the Shabbat holy, and we in turn sanctify it every week anew with “Kiddush.” Kiddush is recited over a cup of wine and officially begins the Shabbat meal.
Everyone stands. Fill the kiddush cup to the brim with wine. Place the cup in the cupped palm of your right hand and recite the kiddush.
Sit, drink at least half the wine, and pour the rest into cups for the people around the table. Pass the wine around so everyone gets a sip.
Watch: How to Make Kiddush
Washing for Bread
Before we eat a meal with bread, we wash our hands and make a special blessing. So immediately after Kiddush, we perform the ritual washing for bread.
Fill a large cup with water. Pass the cup to your left hand and pour three times over your right hand. Repeat by pouring on your left hand. As you wipe your hands, recite the blessing:
Baruch atah A-donoy, Elo-heinu Melech Ha’Olam, asher kidshanu bemitzvotav vetzivanu al netilat yadayim. Wait to talk until you have partaken of the challah.
Challah
When everyone is seated at the table, raise the two challah loaves (representing the double portion of manna we received on Friday in honor of the Shabbat) and recite the Hamotzi blessing.
Baruch atah A-donoy, Elo-heinu Melech Ho’Olam, hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz
Cut the challah, dip a piece in salt, and have a bite. Pass around pieces and make sure everyone receives a slice.
The Best Food on Earth
It is a mitzvah to honor and pleasure Shabbat with delicious food. A traditional Friday night menu includes a first course of fish—often gefilte— salads and various dips, chicken soup for the second course, and a main course of roast chicken or meat with sides such as kugel and tzimmes. But the main thing is to eat food that you enjoy—food that is delicious, festive, and makes you feel like you’re at a queen’s table.
Song and Insight
The Friday night meal is a time for friends and family to be together and celebrate the Shabbat spirit. We sing zemirot — traditional Shabbat songs — and share words of Torah. Before Shabbat, prepare something about the Torah portion to say at the table. Chabad.org's parshah section is an excellent place to start. Print out a story to read together. Make sure your table is imbued with the spirit of Shabbat and the beauty of Judaism.
Grace After Meals
At the end of every meal with bread, we conclude with birchat hamazon, the grace after meals. On Shabbat, we add a paragraph that speaks of the uniqueness of this day and a prayer that our weekly "taste of the World to Come" shall bring us to "the day that is wholly Shabbat and tranquility, for life everlasting" — the age of Moshiach.
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