Dear Rabbi,

I have an issue. My wife and I have two children, an eight-year-old and a ten-year-old. My wife wants to have another child, but I think we already have enough work and children—we do not have much time left to our day! Having another child will just burden us further.

In truth, as I am about to hit submit, I am laughing at myself. Why am I writing to you? As a rabbi, you of course believe that we should have more children! Maybe I am actually looking for the right person to convince me to make this decision . . .


Throughout life we constantly make decisions. Some are short-term decisions—What should we wear? When should we leave our house? What should we eat? Who should we meet today? What should we tell our coworker? Others are long-term decisions—Where is the best place to raise our families? How will we raise our children? Which job is best for us?

How do we make decisions?

In most instances, we look for the most practical and worthwhile solution. If there is a chance it may rain, we will take an umbrella when we leave the house. If we are going out for a power walk, we will take our sneakers. And if we are on a diet, we will seek out healthy food.

However, there are times when we deviate from the rational voice. When you see a person hurt on the street, even though you are tired and your wife is waiting for you at home and you have no clue who the person is, your soul kicks in and tells you to stop and assist him/her.

When I first read the second paragraph of your question, I smiled together with you. What were you thinking? But you yourself are able to explain it. You have a gut feeling; your soul is telling you it is a good idea to have another child.

Rationally, it may be logical to be content with two kids. But for the child that is unborn, I ask you to listen to the call of the soul. Will a new child cause you to lose some sleep for the first year or so? Most probably, yes. But one thing is for sure—in the future this will be a decision that you will never regret, for children bring the deepest joy to their parents.

With regards to financial constraints—an understandable concern—when fulfilling the wishes of the Creator of the world, one can feel confident that He surely will provide sustenance for the children.

As with all decisions made from the soul, at first it may seem hard to fulfill. But these are the choices that we later look back on and recognize as the positive direction in our lives.

See Big Families: “How Many Children Are You Going to Have?”

Looking forward to hearing good news from you,

Rabbi Mendy Kaminker,
Ask the Rabbi @ our partner site in Hebrew