1. Invite Sincerely
The first step to making an inclusive and welcoming Seder is to make sure you have people whom you can welcome. Pull out your Rolodex or scroll through your phone contact list, and start reaching out. Look out for the names of the people you think may especially be in need of an invite. WhatsApps, emails, and texts are all good, but the most effective way to communicate that you really want them at your Seder is by picking up the phone and inviting them.
2. The Books With Looks
The Seder meal follows a carefully choreographed script, all recorded in the Haggadah. Although the basic text is universal, there are thousands of editions with different pagination, explanations, translations, and styles. Make sure to have enough copies of the same haggadah, so everyone at the table can follow along together. If people speak different languages, you may want to get this excellent set, which comes with translations in 6 languages in one easy-to-follow design.
At the same time, some of your guests may require large-print haggadahs, and nonverbal guests may benefit from using a PECS haggadah, which uses pictures rather than written words.
3. Matzah for All
The most important element of the evening is eating the matzah. You can accommodate guests with wheat allergy or gluten intolerance by getting spelt matzah (or oat matzah, if spelt will not cut it). These are specialty items and cost a bit more, but a mitzvah is priceless, so go for it!
4. Sync the Drink
Drinking four cups of wine can be a challenge for some people. Getting small cups (containing at least 3 ounces) will make it that much easier. If you have guests who cannot drink alcohol or wine with sulfites, you can get some superb kosher sulfite-free wine and grape juice so everyone will be able to fill their glasses with ease.
5. Seat People Wisely
Did you ever notice that in the narrative of the Four Sons, the wise and wicked sons are next to each other? It’s so the wise son can influence even his wicked counterpart. Now, no one at your Seder is wicked (we hope), but there is a lesson here. Seat your guests who may need assistance next to people who can help them as needed. When someone requires physical assistance, a little extra explanation, or help with the meal, having someone they can count on makes for a comfortable experience.
6. Speak Up!
Everyone at the Seder follows the cues of the Seder leader. Make sure to seat the leader centrally so everyone can hear and ideally see what is going on. The leader should take extra care to speak loudly and clearly and translate unfamiliar words as appropriate.
7. Share to Prepare
One of the most memorable parts of the Seder is often the singing. If you will have guests who are not familiar with the tunes you will be using, consider sending them some links in advance so they can brush up or at least familiarize themselves with the tunes.
8. No Need to Read
If your seder typically includes having participants read aloud, give people the option to do so if comfortable, or decline. You can also help people prepare by assigning readings in advance and sending them out so people can practice.
9. Smile!
Hosting a Seder is hard work, and it can be stressful. Bear in mind that your guests will probably not remember if the mashed potatoes were a bit overdone or if you forgot to put the saltwater in the special dish you inherited from Great-Aunt Millie. They will, however, certainly remember the welcoming and inclusive atmosphere you provide. Make sure to socialize with each and every one of your guests, and let them know how happy you truly are to see them.
With wishes for a happy, kosher, and inclusive Passover,
Your friends @ Chabad.org
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