Rambam - 1 Chapter a Day

The following rules apply when a person receives a report that a close relative of his died. If he received the report within 30 days of the person's death - even on the thirtieth day itself - it is considered a proximate report. He must observe the seven days of mourning from the time he receives the report. He must rend his garments and count 30 days for the prohibition against cutting one's hair and the other factors from that date. The general principle is: The day on which he hears the report is like the day of the person's burial.

If, however, a person receives a report after 30 days, it is considered as a distant report. He observes mourning rites for only one day and is not required to rend his garments. It is as if the day of the report is both the seventh day and the thirtieth day. And we follow the principle: A portion of the day is considered as the entire day.

What is implied by the statement: A portion of the day is considered as the entire day? Once one observed the mourning rites for a certain time, he is permitted to wear shoes, wash, anoint himself, and cut his hair during the remainder of the day. Similarly, he has license not to observe any of the mourning rites.

When a person hears a proximate report in the midst of a festival or on the Sabbath and after the Sabbath or after the festival, the report will become distant, the Sabbath or the festival are counted for him. Thus he observes only one day of mourning after the festival or after the Sabbath. And a portion of the day is considered as the entire day as explained.

The following rules apply when a close relative of a person dies and that person does not know until he comes to that place. If he was in a close place, e.g., within ten parseot away, and thus he could come in one day, even if he came on the seventh day, if he finds people offering comfort to the person of greatest stature in the family, it is considered as if he was together with them and he counts with them the remainder of the 30 days. This applies even if they had already begun to rise, as long as he finds comforters, he counts with the other mourners.

If he did not find comforters, he counts for himself. Similarly, if he comes from a distant place, even if he comes on the second day, he counts seven and thirty days for himself from the day he comes.

During the first three days of mourning, a mourner does not even go the house of another mourner. From that time onward, he may go, but he does not sit together with those offering comfort, but with those receiving comfort. He should not leave the entrance to his house to go any place for the entire first week. During the second week, he may leave his home, but should not sit in his ordinary place. During the third week, he may sit in his ordinary place, but should not speak in his ordinary manner. During the fourth week, he is like any other person.

The High Priest is obligated to observe all the mourning practices, except that he is forbidden to rend the upper portion of his garments, to let his hair grow long, or to follow the bier in the funeral procession.

The entire Jewish people come to his house to comfort him. When they bring him the meal of comfort, all of the people must sit on the ground; he, by contrast, sits on a bench. When they comfort him, they tell him: "We are atonement for you." And he tells them: "May you be blessed from heaven."

If he desires to comfort others, the deputee has him positioned among the people. And he tells the mourners: "Be comforted."

Similarly, a king is obligated to observe all the mourning practices, except that he does not leave his palace in the funeral procession for his dead. Needless to say, this applies with regard to other deceased. Nor does he comfort mourners. King David followed Avner's funeral procession only to show the people that he was not slain because of David's desire.

No one enters the king's presence to comfort him except his servants and those who are given permission to enter. They do not have permission to speak words of comfort except what he allows them. When they serve him the meal of comfort, all of the others recline on the ground and he reclines on a dargesh.