So, you got married, does your spouse need to know everything you do? Could there possibly be certain private matters that you need not share with your soul mate?

In a previous post, I wrote about the "aggrieved woman." The woman read both Yiddish and Hebrew, and the Rebbe wrote many times to her in both these languages. Which led me to wonder, why did the Rebbe write to her numerous times in English, when the Rebbe was certainly more comfortable with Yiddish?

As I wrote in my post on this subject, this couple was very close to the Rebbe, and both spouses received many letters from the Rebbe.

It seems apparent to me that the Rebbe was concerned that sometimes one of the spouses would inadvertently open a letter he addressed to the other. Most of the time, it wouldn't make a difference; at times, however, the contents were intended for the addressee only.

Perhaps those letters written in English were the ones that the Rebbe felt were for the eyes of the wife only; not for the husband, who was an immigrant and did not read English.

In JEM's newest film – Sensitivity: The Rebbe's compassionate attention to "the little things" – there is an anecdote related by Rabbi Shimon Lazaroff, director of Chabad-Lubavitch in Texas, that relays a similar message.

Here is the transcript provided by JEM:

One time, while in a private audience after I got married, I asked the Rebbe a few questions.

The Rebbe answered all of them, aside for one. I realized this after I came out of the Rebbe's room, when I was transcribing the Rebbe's answers—there was this one question that the Rebbe didn't answer. I wondered: Did I not hear? Did I forget what he said?

Sure enough, in the evening the Rebbe's secretary, Rabbi Hodakov, calls me, "In your audience with the Rebbe, you asked a question…" And he relayed to me the Rebbe's answer to the question.

It was a private matter, and my wife was with me in the audience. The Rebbe didn't want to answer in front of my wife.

In other words, the way I saw it, the Rebbe was so sensitive and careful about the most little thing. That answer was not appropriate to be said in front of my wife…"

So, my take is that being married doesn't completely preclude some privacy.

What do you think?