Jan. 3, 2009. Apparently this is it.

Since last Shabbat we have been on maximum alert, waiting for the order. And everyday for the past week they have been telling us, "Tomorrow! For sure tomorrow!"

So every day our nerves have been on edge.

But now there is no tomorrow.

The state that Gaza has reached is unbelievable. At this point I think there are enough mines, tunnels, and booby traps there to rival North Vietnam. And according to the press, Hamas has legalized crucifixion and they are setting crosses in Gaza.

There is so much death, hundreds of vultures circle overhead.

There is a strong possibility, even an unfortunate likelihood, that this will be my final blog entry.

I think about the 24 years of my life. My life was far, far from perfect, but I have no regrets. I lived life to the fullest, to a fault even.

With me there are no frantic pleas to G‑d for forgiveness, nor a desperate begging for survival. Rather, it is more a calm acceptance of fate.