Dear Reader,

“My children are constantly fighting,” laments Susan, a mother of three. “They bicker about the size of their dinner portions. They argue over whose turn it is to do a chore. They fight over who is smarter or friendlier. Will there ever be peace in my home?”

This week’s Torah reading, Yitro, records the momentous event of the Jewish people receiving the Torah.

“In thethird monthafter the exodus of the children ofIsraelfrom Egypt, they came to the desert of Sinai . . .and Israel encampedthere opposite the mountain.”(Ex. 19:1–2)

The Mechilta notes: Everywhere else it is written, “theytraveled . . .they encamped” in the plural, meaning with dissenting opinions. Here, however, it is written “and Israel encamped,” in the singular form, since all were equally of one heart.

Although it is natural for a multitude of people to have dissenting opinions, when the Jewish people arrived to receive the Torah they were “as one man, with one heart.”

The time in which this occurred—during the third month after the Exodus—helped create the condition for this exceptional harmony.

The Talmud notes the predominance of the number three: “A threefold Torah, to a threefold people, through a third-born, on a third day, in the third month.” (Shabbat 88a)

What is so special about the number three that the Torah, whose purpose is to bring peace and unity to mankind, was given in this month? And what psychological quality can we learn from this number in our efforts to foster greater harmony among our children?

The giving of the Torah in the third month teaches us that Torah values diversity and individuality.

“One” implies that there exists only a single reality and suggests absolute conformity. “Two” indicates divisiveness and disparity, as in two opposing, rival approaches. “Three” finds an underlying unity between disparate entities.

When two biblical passages contradict each other, the meaning can be determined by a third biblical text, which reconciles them both by finding their deeper, concealed harmony. On the surface, the two verses may seem to disagree. But the third verse resolves their disagreement, not by “taking sides” and agreeing with one verse over the other, but by showing that the two are actually in consonance. (Sifra, Intro).

The Torah wasn’t given in the first month.

The number “one” suggests exactness and conformity. While the Torah expects law and order, it still respects our individual natures and our creative expressions.

Conflict may arise between people when conformity is demanded. As a parent, do you hear yourself saying, “The rules in this house are that everyone must strictly follow this routine”? What happens when a child doesn’t comfortably fit into your neat box? What if a child isn’t able to follow a set regimen, a firm schedule, or an inflexible list of expectations?

Recognizing and validating a child’s uniqueness may curtail some of the strife among siblings.

The Torah wasn’t given in the second month of the year.

The number “two” is indicative of two rivaling opposites.

Conflict arises when people feel that they are being compared to, or “pitted” against, each other. As a parent, do you hear yourself saying: “Why can’t you be like your sister, whose room is always so neat?” or “Why doesn’t your brother ever need to be reminded to do his chores?”

One of your children may be particularly neat, while another might be highly creative. Contrasting the two is not only unfair; it can be destructive.

The Torah, whose purpose is peace, was given in the third month.

The message of “three” is the beauty of having a world full of endless possibilities, nuances, and talents coming together in the harmonious goal of creating greater goodness.

So, teach your child the power of three:

1) To appreciate himself for who he is—not by comparing himself to another, nor by judging himself against a rigid set of expectations.

2) To value the special qualities that she has, rather than see herself as lacking a specific quality.

3) To realize that working with others won’t diminish him, but will help him (and those around him) achieve a greater, common good.

Our mission as parents is to utilize the power of three—to uncover and actualize the special talents and contributions of all of our children.

Chana Weisberg
Editor, TJW

Dear Leaders,

It is never too late to join our Be a Leader program! We have readers who are deciding to join now. Here’s one letter we just got in our inbox: I’m very interested in taking on this challenge! It feels a bit intimidating right now but I’m going to take my first step. Thank you for the opportunity.

Don’t be intimidated; give it a try! We are so happy to have you on board!

In this week’s study packet, we explore the concept of relationships. There are so many different kinds of relationships that we each have—casual relationships with friends, neighbors, or colleagues; deeper relationships with our spouse and family members; and on a soul level, our relationship with our Creator.

Each of our writers shares a different thought on the necessary components to make a relationship succeed and last. We love to hear from you, so let us know which thought resonates with you and how you feel this can be helpful in your own relationships.

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead and a wonderful learning experience,

Chana Weisberg,

Editor, TJW

Dear Reader,

Thirty-five years ago, shortly after the passing of his life partner and soulmate, Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson, and in her honor, the Rebbe asked that each of us celebrate our birthdays.

Why is a birthday celebrated?

The day you were born is the day that G‑d said, YOU are needed in My world; YOU are important to Me! Your talents and abilities are necessary to fix your specific corner of the world.

However, along with that, the Rebbe taught us to ponder: What have I accomplished by being here? Did the world change because of me? Did I have any impact on others? What more can I do?

TheJewishWoman.org was born 17 years ago, on the 22nd of Shevat in honor of the yahrtzeit of the Rebbetzin, who lived a life completely devoted to others. Though precious little is known about her due to her fervent desire not to have attention drawn to herself, her selfless dedication, sacrifice and love for the Jewish people is legendary.

TheJewishwoman.org has had an incredible 17 years of rapid growth as a website. But theJewishWoman.org is so much more than just a site. We are an all-inclusive community and online home for women, empowering women to find their unique voices through learning and education, inspiration and life experiences, and practical tips and advice.

On our birthday, it is our time to ask: What more can we do? How can we make a bigger impact?

On a Jewish birthday, it’s customary to get together with family and friends to celebrate. And so, we turn to you, our dear readers, and ask you to help us reach even more women.

Share with us what you like about TheJewishWoman.org and what you would like to see on our site. Have we made an impact on your life? How can we improve?

Do you use social media? Please visit us and like us on our Facebook page. Are you signed up to receive our free emails, full of interesting articles and inspiring lessons? Do you have friends or family members who would appreciate receiving our inspiration? Are you signed up to receive our Be a Leader weekly Study Packets. Please share all these things with your friends.

We invite you to celebrate our birthday with us. Help us become an even bigger and better home for every Jewish woman across the globe!

And, on this special day of the Rebbetzin’s yahrtzeit, as we celebrate the Rebbetzin’s life, and the life lessons and insight that she and the Rebbe granted us, perhaps there is a special resolution that you’d like to take on?

Chana Weisberg
Editor, TJW

P.S. We really do love to hear from you, so let us know how TheJewishWoman.org is a part of your life.

Dear Leaders,

This week we take a look at individuality, and the unique power of every person.

We are not meant to all be the same! Each of us has a unique mission that only we can accomplish. Moreover, when we can recognize the specific talents and positive traits of those around us, we help them to see their own potential. In doing so, we give them a priceless gift that endures for all time: we show them their power. This is true for any person that we interact with, whether it is our co-worker, friend, or relative, and is especially true for our children or students.

As the Rebbe explained: People are souls, with the potential for perfection implicit within them. And nothing brings out a soul's potential as much as interacting and uniting with other souls. Imperfect individuals, brought together in love and fellowship, make perfect communities. (Sicha on Parshat Vayakhel, 25th of Adar I, 5752)

And that’s exactly the purpose of our gatherings during this Hakhel year—to learn and be inspired from one another.

We hope you enjoy this week’s study packet as we explore different facets of individuality. Tell us how you view your individuality. What makes you, uniquely you? We love to hear from you!

Wishing you a wonderful week and a thought-provoking gathering of study and inspiration.

Chana Weisberg,

Editor, TJW

Dear Leaders,

Each of us battles some emotional, spiritual or physical darkness. We face challenges, conflicts, and, at times, overwhelming circumstances. Though it takes hard work, we can fight our inner darkness.

Here’s something that just came to our inbox: I'd like to share how G‑d has strengthened me and has been carrying me. I have an autoimmune disease. I also have enemies. The combination has brought me close to G‑d.

I've been privileged to witness miracles in my life. Whatever you may be going through, the best response I've found is to turn to G‑d, not people. After turning to G‑d, you'll find He will put people in your path to help you. It is my prayer that this is helpful to others.

This week, we look at traumatic events from our past and how we can overcome them. We read about how the Jewish people experienced the miraculous splitting of the sea after their exodus from Egypt and its deeper psychological message for us. We read a beautiful, personal account of a woman who transformed acute pain in her life into purpose and meaning. We also share a letter from the Rebbe about how to overcome anxiety and fears.

We love to hear how you’re enjoying the concepts in these study packets, and how your gatherings are working out. So, please drop us a line!

Wishing you a wonderful week and a meaningful gathering!

Chana Weisberg,

Editor, TJW

Dear Leaders,

Thank you for your feedback, we love hearing from you!

From our inbox: Dear Chana and your team, Thank you very much for providing these study packets. This afternoon I had invited 10 women to my home to do the study packet. I was a bit nervous as with this group—they were "eclectic"—some completely secular, some fairly observant. The study guide was perfect and lent itself to wonderful discussions, interactions, and questions. Wow!!!! I truly felt fantastic at the end. Our other times were over Shabbat dinners with other couples. This is an excellent program and I hope you will continue doing them.

This week, we explore the topic of fear. Fear is an unpleasant emotion experienced in our mind, that triggers a strong physical reaction in our body. Fear paralyzes us, blocking us from moving forward. It's impossible to think clearly when you're flooded with fear or anxiety.

So how can we liberate ourselves from our fears? How can we prevent fear from blocking us in our journey toward our goals? The name of this week’s Torah portion, Bo, gives us a hint. Please share with us how you confront your fears!

Wishing you a wonderful gathering,

Chana Weisberg,

Editor, TJW

PS Subscribe to receive these emails at www.chabad.org/TJWList