Dear Friend,

What makes a good spouse?

We are fast approaching 15 Av, once one of the happiest days on the Jewish calendar. The Talmud tells us that many years ago the “daughters of Jerusalem would go dance in the vineyards” on the 15th of Av, and “whoever did not have a wife would go there” to find himself a bride.

“Raise your eyes and choose!” they would call out as they danced. “Don’t fix your eyes on beauty. Set your eyes on upbringing. ‘Charm is a lie, and beauty is vain; but a woman who has reverence for the L‑rd, she’ll be praised.’ (Proverbs 31:30)

These young ladies knew the secret to lasting love. Looks, money, glitz, glamor are all secondary. The main thing is what’s going on inside. A G‑d-fearing, kind, giving, reliable, and intelligent spouse is a partner with whom to build a home and grow old.

Let those of us who are married look inward and find these qualities within ourselves and our spouses. And let us bless those of us looking for a spouse that they find one with the values of the maidens of Jerusalem.

The Chabad.org Team