ב"ה
Simply Special

Birthday Cake. With a Soul.

July 29, 2015 12:12 PM

It’s almost like a thick fog rolling in, yet this time it’s covering my heart, the sunlight from within. The fog is misty, white and gray . . . and I notice my vision is blurred with tears. I’m trying to hold tight, as the wind picks up, the breeze of life that can storm my heavens. It’s a battle within, a struggle, a “tug-of-war” . . . and the pull is great.

I busy myself with baking his cake.

Flour. Sugar. Eggs. Mix.

NICU ward, oxygen mask, incessant beeping machines.

Oil. Baking Powder. Blend until creamy.

Doctors, nurses, tears, fright, fears.

Baking Soda. Vanilla extract. Mix again.

Questions, surgery, faith, exhaustion.

Pour into cake pan. Bake at 350.

Heartache, worry, wonder.

Set timer for 45 minutes.

Time standing still, prayer.

I’m losing the battle. The memories so deeply etched within every fiber of my being won’t leave. They are tucked away, beneath layers of blessings, gratitude, positivity and miracles.

The weary and worn memories are further and further from today, but they are there.

It’s almost like a thick fog, a brewing storm. I try to grip my sunshine, feeling the warmth on my face, allowing the rays to dry my tears. But I am no match.

His beautiful birthday cake is cooling. The sweet scent fills my home and heart.

My special little boy is turning 9. And it’s all okay.

My inner struggle and battle of reminiscing . . . is healthy and soothing. It allows me to move on. Move forward to a new year, new growth, new miracles.

The fog clears as day breaks. The sun’s rays take on new light. My storm subsides. My gratitude grows stronger.

Happy birthday, my precious Chaim Boruch.

A cake with a soul.

From your mom, with love.

Chana is a proud wife and mother living in Mill Valley, California. She is inspired by the colors and textures of everyday life, and loves sharing her creative ideas with her community. Chana writes DIY projects, crafts and recipes celebrating her Jewish life and shlichus on her blog Chana’s Art Room, and is the co-director of Chabad of Mill Valley with her husband, Rabbi Hillel Scop. To read more about Chaim Boruch, and Chana’s journey, take a look at her personal special-needs blog, Life of Blessing.

Two Brothers, One Dream

July 14, 2015 10:06 PM

Dearest Chaim Boruch,

I see it in your eyes, and your smile reflects what I can only imagine is in your heart.

Your big brother is beginning a journey in your honor, and I know you are proud.

Schneur will be cycling from San Diego to Manhattan in the Friendship Circle’s “Investors Bank Bike 4 Friendship,” raising money for children with disabilities just like you, and yes, my dear Chaim Boruch, you are his inspiration.

One hundred miles a day for six weeks. A challenge for the body and mind. A journey on bumpy roads, narrow paths and unsure ground. Yet the horizon is magnificent, full of breathtaking shades of the heaven meeting earth.

A ride with a heart and soul. Doubled. A bond and friendship of two brothers. Schneur will be your wheels, and you are his energy. Determination, dedication and toil.

A moment in time where you share the same road, acknowledge the depth of the challenge, and persevere. A moment in time when all that seems different is now the same. When the wheels of the cycle of life synchronize with two hearts. Motion with emotion. A chain that links the spirit of siblings and the vitality of commitment.

One day, you too will ride. Your unstable legs will hold you up high, while the wind passes you by. Your little hands will grasp with strength the handlebars of direction. And you, too, will feel the gift of movement, coordination and speed.

I imagine your laughter, deep from within, upon your dreams coming true. And all the while, I will laugh with you too.

The Talmud states: If someone says, "I have worked hard, and I have not been successful," don't believe him. If someone says, "I have not worked hard and I have been successful," don't believe him. If someone says, "I have worked hard, and I have been successful," believe him!1

So together, you and Schneur will work hard. And you will both succeed.

Two brothers. One journey. One challenge. One dream.

(For more information about the Friendship Circle, click here.)

Footnotes
1.

Megillah 6b.

Chana is a proud wife and mother living in Mill Valley, California. She is inspired by the colors and textures of everyday life, and loves sharing her creative ideas with her community. Chana writes DIY projects, crafts and recipes celebrating her Jewish life and shlichus on her blog Chana’s Art Room, and is the co-director of Chabad of Mill Valley with her husband, Rabbi Hillel Scop. To read more about Chaim Boruch, and Chana’s journey, take a look at her personal special-needs blog, Life of Blessing.
Chana Scop shares her experiences parenting a child with special needs.
Chana ScopChana is a proud wife and mother living in Mill Valley, California. She is inspired by the colors and textures of everyday life, and loves sharing her creative ideas with her community. Chana writes DIY projects, crafts and recipes celebrating her Jewish life and shlichus on her blog Chana’s Art Room, and is the co-director of Chabad of Mill Valley with her husband, Rabbi Hillel Scop. She also writes about a mother’s journey of raising a special-needs son on her other blog, Life of Blessing. She welcomes you to be a part of her creative and touching journey.
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