On A Mother of Small Children Being Employed

Blessing and Greeting:

I am in receipt of your letter and, although the time is not very convenient for lengthy correspondence, I trust that the following lines will adequately answer your letter.

You write about your present frame of mind and lack of fulfillment in having to devote all your time to domestic responsibilities, taking care of the children, etc.

It is a matter of common sense, as well as of considerable emphasis in our Torah, that a woman finds her fulfillment precisely as the akeret habayit, and that this is the area where she can truly accomplish great and wonderful things, if only she desires it. It is written that "G‑d created man upright, but he seeks many calculations."^' Thus, in the present abnormal times, it has become a prevalent, though nonetheless erroneous, view that the wife must seek employment, and that this must be outside the home. To be sure, if there were some employment that could be done at home to supplement the parnassah, that would be well and good, as is mentioned in the well-known chapter of Eishet Chayil.1 However, some women insist upon outside employment, so that this has become the established practice and has become "second nature," to such an extent that it has resulted in a complete reversal of values, making the essential secondary, and the secondary essential, as if a woman can be regarded as a real person only if she goes against her nature and against the natural order of the world.

The above would be true even if the woman had only one or two children to take care of. How much more so when there are, thank G‑d, more than a minimal number of children? This is especially true when they are of an age when they are entirely dependent upon the attention and loving care of the mother. And when one lives in a place where the ability to keep a Jewish home is in itself a challenge–not as it used to be in earlier days and under different circumstances–and when one has, in addition, the great responsibility and privilege to strengthen Yiddishkeit2 with the light and warmth of Chasidut,3 all this certainly requires the mobilization of all the woman's capacities, ingenuity, concentration and peace of mind, and there is no satisfaction greater than that which comes from being able to accomplish all of the above. It would seem rather doubtful that, after all this, there would be an excess of energy and interest to divert to outside employment, and the like.