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I know that for my daughter's own benefit I must follow the rules of the game. But with each roll of the dice, with each turn that she takes, I am inwardly holding ... More
I know that for my daughter's own benefit I must follow the rules of the game. But with each roll of the dice, with each turn that she takes, I am inwardly holding my breath, secretly longing for her victory...
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As I play a game with my youngest daughter, I try to follow the rules of the game. I know that, for her own benefit, I need to teach her how to graciously accept a setback. But with each roll of the dice, with each card that she uncovers, with each turn that she takes, I am inwardly holding my breath, secretly longing for her victory. Because it hurts me more than anything to see her sad, to feel the heaviness of her defeat.
Which is what makes me think about G-d, and the "game" of life...
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In this video, she says that she only lets her daughter win when her daughter will not notice.
Just one problem.
When you announce something on the Internet to the world, that includes not only strangers, but also your family.
The daughter may find this video online and learn from it that she has never really won and that her mother has been letting her win.
These unintended consequences should be considered before sharing personal anecdotes.
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My mother was like you when i was a child. She let me win even though i didn't know it. Perhaps i am a male and wrong, but i did not play hard , but i never wanted to be caught 'cheating' , losing on purpose. As my children grew, we continued playing games. And when they won, which became common, they were truly triumphant and knew what it took. They are such good sports in all areas of their life. They learned the number one lesson is how you play the game. It's no fun if nobody will play with you.
I just wanted to mention that you and i may differ in our means, but our children get as good a legacy either way. If your child is asking you to play, you must be doing something right.
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one small complaint about an otherwise lovely production.
signing off by saying "Let's be in touch" makes the whole exercise so insincere because we never will be in touch with her and she knows it and we know it
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Infants are born with biological and emotional needs. Infants are NEVER required to fast, nor to follow rules. In fact, infants rule. With love and patience, we nurture and guide. It is a mistake to think a young child should learn what life is *really* like simply for the sake of experiencing failure, just as we do not deprive an infant of milk simply because as adults we must fast. There is always time and opportunity to fail. In stages we develop and mature. Coping skills are built on a foundation. This "education in reality" that some endorse is, in my experience, nearly always accompanied by bitter spite, becoming lessons in bitter failure & arrogant winning, leading away from the 1st Commandment. Often, the lessons are just as manufactured as when we allow very young kids to win. So then, what is this "reality"? It is less real than if a parent projects our Creator's perfect love onto a child through small moments of victory. Beautiful lesson, Ms. Weisberg!
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Wrong to let her win.What do you teach her about life? Nothing. In life you need to learn how to lose, so you can win.
Smile on her face will be when she wins for real , with no help from you.That will make you happy for real.
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"Some rules can be bent, others can be broken".
The problem is: one has to reach a certain level of personal refinement before the true G-d's Will becomes apparent (and it becomes clear which rules should be bent, and which - should be left alone at the moment), and that involves LIVING with them (or IN them).
To illustrate a point - Eliyahu broke one rather important rule about sacrifices. How did he know which one to break, and when? A lot of people during that time were breaking other rules - somehow their breaking was not pleasing to HaShem, Eliyahu's breaking - was...
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Chana,
This is the first vidcast I've watched, and I'm so grateful for the 'touch' you offer. A beautiful message from a beautiful soul adds magic to my Elul efforts.
Thanks so much!
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Maybe rules should first be rightly understood, then willingly applied, and EXPECTINGLY waited on?
Some rules that I have managed to do well, at last, have had some surprising results. It is like pleasure, well-being, a sense of up-lifting and I get to then understand something either more fully or something I didn't know before.
Maybe they should be called Rewards instead of Rules.
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Some people claim that the rules are sacred, and any thought of bending them is a sacrilege. Others would say that the first group idolized the rules - i.e. made an idol for themselves, thus violating one of the most fundamental Laws.
In any case, it seems clear that before considering whether or how to bend the rules, one should learn them well enough to master. Know what you're trying to bend before the bending! :-)
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