Home

Home. Home is where the heart is. Home is where I belong, and home is where I always return.

Life wouldn't be the same if it weren't for the Torah and that small, controversial strip of land, Israel. Gone would be my everyday conversations, my thoughts, my paintings, my language, my dress, my childhood dreams, and my plans for the future. Every morning I wake up, thinking of my guideline to life, the Torah and my home, Israel .

As I awake every morning and thank G‑d for returning my soul, I plead with Him to return me to His land, where I can practice and study all of His commandments, including those that are only applicable in Israel. And so I pray to G‑d, tears streaming down my pale cheeks, to return me home to fulfill my purpose.

Now I find myself avidly learningMy very existence revolves around G‑d and His Torah. As a child, I sat next to my father in the synagogue as I screeched the words of Adon Olam and saw the walls of the synagogue heard my fiery passion. All of the congregants stopped singing as they listened to me: the five year old, black haired girl singing to the Creator above.

Now I find myself avidly learning Tanach and Code of Jewish Law. I get lost listening to shiurim on my iPod, checking my daily Halacha or reading books on Jewish thought. In my studies I find my ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, setting a precedent of studying Torah and living in the Holy Land. I feel that I must finish my ancestors' life mission and validate their sacrifices by studying our Torah in our land. It is this desire that motivates me to look beyond the landscape of New Jersey to dream the ultimate dream: returning to Israel to study Torah.

I'm proud to say that my strong beliefs spill over and inspire my five year old students: "I want to take the Torah home. Can I take one from the shul? And I don't want to leave Sunday school. I want to stay here with you." I slowly embrace my students and confirm that I will see them next week. My friends tease that I have brainwashed my students, but it brings a smile to my face to see their souls connecting to the truth of Torah and our home, Israel .

My Judaism has grown stronger since I was told of my family lineage of rabbis. They were the mentors, the shoulder to lean on when the Jews were going through physical and spiritual struggles in Europe. However, when my family moved to America , everyone completely assimilated. This knowledge shocked me at first; I believe that it is my duty to preserve Torah learning and fix my ancestors' mistakes.

I look at my upcoming year in Israel as a piece of clay. I can leave it in its solid shape or I can mold and shape it into a work of art. As I enter any situation in life and especially my year in Seminary, I will mold and shape who I am by refining my character and living the painting I have painted for myself.

I am asking you, to grant me the tools I need to mold my clay and to give me the paint brush to paint my picture on G‑d's canvas of life. And I know that one day, I shall, I must, return.