Balance

Today I woke up feeling as if I were leaning to one side. Whether it is the right or the left, I cannot tell you. However, something is definitely off. It has nothing to do with the way I slept, the clothing I'm wearing, or what I ate for breakfast. My entire being is an unbalanced mess that I am once again looking to correct.

Life is a balancing act Life is a balancing act. As a mother, I am in a constant state of back and forth, up and down, in and out. Change diapers, serve meals, put children to nap, clean up, rinse; repeat. And when I can juggle everything at once and everyone is happy, I feel like a million bucks – for about ten seconds.

There are more people to make happy. Being there for my husband to chat over dinner after a long day of work; proofreading my Mother's term paper so that she can finally get her business degree; posting new pictures of the kids so that my Grandma can watch them grow from a hundred miles away; designing t-shirts for my nephew's Bar Mitzvah; checking in with my one sister who never seems to have the time to call me back; and the list goes on. At times, my mind and body go into overload and I'm not sure what to do next. Do I put in an extra hour of work or play one more game with my kids? Do I shlep into New York to see my parents, or stay home and have a picnic in the yard with my husband and kids? The decisions are endless. And sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you still can't make everyone happy.

I'm sure that everyone goes through these types of struggles on a daily basis. But for women, it's different. We are not only physical beings, but emotional beings as well. We have our responsibilities and there are those rare times when we just go through the motions; more often, we put our entire selves into what we do-- heart, mind, body, and soul. This female trait and defining characteristic can sometimes leave us feeling vulnerable.

Stay strongSo, how can we overcome these feelings that leave our psyche feeling skewed? The answer is twofold. First and foremost, be true to yourself. I sat down today to write this so that I could remind myself of how to deal with these stresses. It's easy to get wrapped up in life, and then life inevitably envelopes you and controls you. Well, you need to gain control of your life. Get to know yourself again. Go for a run or knit a sweater. For twenty minutes, spend time with only you doing something that you like.

The second way to deal with the craziness of life and the feelings of vulnerability is to ask for help. And I'm not saying to knock on your neighbor's door to vent for five minutes. Instead, ask for G‑d's help. I have to admit, I've found myself many times standing in the middle of my kitchen with a pile of dishes in the sink, two screaming babies, and the phone ringing off the hook, and the one thing that saved me was closing my eyes and uttering the words, "Please G‑d, give me the strength to get through this day." No, there was not a big cloud of smoke afterward followed by the dishes miraculously being clean and the crying, stopped. What really mattered is that I felt I wasn't alone. There was someone there pulling for me and helping me on a spiritual level to be strong. After all, G‑d created us. He had to know that us women would be asking for some help now and then. So, take advantage.

I recently started jogging again for exercise and, above all, sanity. I also started studying Tanya again with a good friend. If this isn't chicken soup for the soul, then I don't know what is. You can turn on the television, blast the radio, or bang your head against the wall to render yourself numb to life's challenges. Or, you can live your fears, embrace reality, and try your best to elevate yourself as much as possible in this world. It is your choice as a woman and a human being. Stay strong.